Saturday, June 17, 2006

Did You Ever?

I feel like Andy Rooney for writing this.

Have you ever done something completely stupid and you should have by rights paid a terribly price for your stupidity, but you some how managed to get away with it?

So I'm cycle commuting home on Friday night. I was first in line at a stop light. There were four maybe six vehicles behind me and I took my lane as there was no place to occupy. I'm kinda leaning over the handle bars. I'd already took a good drink off the water bottle hoping the light would change soon.

Meanwhile a vehicle makes a left turn and goes by. Its one of these suburban white boys all dressed up like Eminem. Complete with heater and headband made from a bandana. I'll bet he had a tragic childhood in New Brighton? Meanwhile the vehicle is an all black SUV with the gigantic 22 inch wheels that look so stupid. Especially when you mix them with the low profile tires that give no shock absorption what so ever. Now the best part was the wheels were gold plated. Gold? Does this vehicle have any practical value what-so-ever?

I mean really who much a pretender can this guy be? Has he a record contract? I'll bet not. Has he resettled here from Compton? I don't think so. Is there any point other than image? It is a vehicle that will never see snow. Maybe not even rain. It sure won't see the rough country that an all wheel drive vehicle is designed for. Yeah, but it has leather interior.

Only here comes where I'm stupid part. I laughed. Yeah that's it. I mean, just from who much this dick head has tied up in his vehicle, you know he's as brain dead as a end table. So I let out a nice loud imitation of Nelson from The Simpsons. You know what I'm talking about, just a loud "Haa! Ha!".

The dolt heard me. Oh, I forgot to mention he's got his windows open so everyone can hear his awesome sound system playing his dope hip hop. What? Did I hit some sort of pause in the sound? He slams on the brakes and starts yelling. First the four letter words. Somewhere in there, I hear, "You better not be laughing." Or maybe it was "laughed at" or "laugh at". I'm not sure, but I responded with, "I just did!" So I began to really laugh. Loud. Like play hoot and howl, and just be an ass. I could hear laughs from some of the other cars. I know he put the car in reverse, but other cars coming along the same way as well as the long line behind me may have made that difficult.

I hit him where it hurts. Hard. Just the same it was incredibly stupid. Yeah, I took peverse pleasure it it. And it was childish as hell. I mean, I already knew the guy was a complete ass wipe. He lives for his image, and its what I care least about. And playing with the mind of someone who doesn't have one, is very foolish. And I should know better.

1 comment:

Karl said...

That's awesome. And I'm also glad you survived the encounter! I can't believe how many hummers I see out here in the suburbs these days. And if it's not the hummers, it's the 30 other flavors of gigantic SUVs on the market these days. I just can't understand why people buy such huge vehicles when I always see them driving themselves across town to the coffee place and back to the office.