Concertina

Saw Modest Mouse at the Orpheum in Minneapolis tonight. There were two warm up bands. I've forgotten their names. The first band was a little more mellow, but really had good tone and great harmony with their vocals. I thought their stuff all sounded very much the same. I think they need more collaboration from band members when creating songs. Still, for the first band they did sound okay.

Second band had "Love..." in their name, but that was about it. A step up in loudness. They seemed to have some better variation in their music so it wasn't as boring. First song or two the bass was way too high and just drown out everything. They finally got the message and turned it down and brought the vocals up. Funniest part at the second song they brought on this guy and he was the spitting image of Kid Rock. He told my buddy that times were tough in Hockeytown and the Kid needed money. I didn't know he could play some electronic pad version of a set of bongos like Maynard G. Krebs, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, right Kid? Besides, what decade did that boy last make a recording anyway? Was it before or after Axel Rose? Doesn't matter, since you couldn't actually hear the bongo playing except for a lame brief solo or electrical outage or something. Kid Rock gets a D, and he only gets that since he did lay the pipe with Pam Anderson.

Modest mouse had an elaborate set up. I hadn't realized they used two drummers. And man were those guys tight. I listened for them to get out of sync, but it just didn't seem to happen. I was impressed. My pal and I were on the opposite side of where Johnny Mars was and it seemed like his guitar was way down in volume. I was hoping to hear more out of him. Again the bass really overwhelmed at times, and also had tone problems where it would buzz or yield feedback.

There was a dude in the middle with what looked like a tank commanders helmet liner. Complete with dangling chin strap. I like his look. He played a bunch of stuff. Keyboards, slide guitar, trumpet, stand up bass with and without a bow, and standard electric bass, seems like there might have been something else.

I must be getting old. I couldn't understand a single bit of the leaders banter between songs. It reminded me of the parents and teachers on the old "Peanuts" cartoons. Like a muted trumpet or coronet. A real drag. The lead vocalist was quite the spastic colon kind of guy. The only guy I've ever seen live that worked harder was Peter Garrett of Midnight Oil. That guy looked like he was doing aerobics the whole show. And guzzled gallons of water. And you could see he was just ripped, six pack abs and all.

As usual the antics of my fellow concertgoers was ah, well, sadly unforgettable. The best part was I ran into a guy from work. A good character and he ended up with seats two row in front of me, and closer to the center. Saw him in the hall before hand and said hello.

There were two sisters and a brother plus his girlfriend in front of my seat. The farthest seat to the right had the poorest sight line. The woman that ended up with the seat cursed like a longshoreman. Things like "next times you're going to fuck me in the ass at least use lubricant" and worse. And she was loud. It was between sets so she could be heard and there people all around that could hear and were either snickering, or cringing. So much for Minnesota nice. I have no idea what she had to drink, but man, never let her get that many again. And she just went on and on. It got to the point where I started talking to her sister, and the girlfriend of the brother. The brother was very quiet. The sister and girlfriend were very nice. Admitting, yes, she is loud like this all the time. Yes she is married and her daughter is just like her. Demanding, pissy, and willing to throw tantrums when she didn't get what she wanted. And she was not the most attractive gal. Her companions were much thinner and more attractive.

Then there was the seriously drunk guy behind me. I think between the second band and MM, he grabbed my hat off my head. He put this clean "Browning" hat on me. I told him no thanks, I'd rather not wear that, being a gun control kinda guy. I didn't tell him that last part and he was rather puzzled. He asked me who my favorite baseball team was and I said the Twins. Which is the truth and he gave the hat back saying he felt terribly sorry for me.

He then started talking about how hot his wife was, and that sometimes he drinks too much and isn't able to perform and maybe I could help him out? I told him no, that I'd prefer to stay alive. He didn't understand this or maybe I didn't say it loudly enough. He thought I was threatening him and inquired about it. I said no, you're the one with the guns, your the one that would kill me if I mess with your wife. He liked that. A lot. It was almost like an old beer commercial, "I love this guy." and "I love you man." I really worried I was in for a long night.

Apparently midway through MM he and someone else got into fisticuffs and were hauled off by security. They made it back for the last few songs and the encore. Between songs I heard them shouting obscenities back and forth. Then at the end of the show and the lights came up, they were apologizing with more "I love you man". Man I miss hanging with rednecks on a more regular basis. Especially the drunk ones.

Not.

The show was good. It was loud. I love a good loud show. My ears have stopped ringing now. Ticketmaster had hosed up and never mailed my tickets so I had to call them up and go through voice mail hell twice until I got to a person before the system hung up on me. They printed tickets and they were ready at will call. Worked out fine in the end. I just still hate TicketMasterWhore.

Tickets

Okay, usually when I'm talking tickets, I mean speeding tickets. Between the time I was 16 and 40, I got at least one speeding ticket every three years. Heck at one point I did 8 hours of "Defensive Driving" hell in an non-air conditioned basement with the most ornery set of senior citizens this side of Abe's home on the Simpsons just so I could keep my bloody license in TexSucks. So my insurance rates never went down. I think I've gone about five years without. Look, I deserved every blasted one of them. I never try to talk my way out of them. I was speeding, you caught me, if I didn't want to risk a ticket, I'd slow down. I've only walked away without the ticket when stopped once or twice. Only remember one, where all three kids were sleeping in the backseat and we (the family) were late for a nieces confirmation.

I ordered tickets this morning. Yup, going to see Modest Mouse with a friend I tend to see a lot of shows with. I'm not like crazy for MM, but its been a long time since something came through I wanted to see. In theory, I got a "special" message from someone I've volunteered with, and got to order tickets a day early. Sure. I later saw two other messages from other services that gave "specials" too. All with their own code word.

Here's the pisser. Ticket Whore. Or TicketWhoreMaster. Each ticket was $30. Actually two were $61. Once they got done with license fees, dealer preparation charges, delivery fees, tire shine, carpet vacuum, upholstery protector coating, and headlight fluid refills, it was over $90. And I picked the cheapest and slowest delivery possible. So it cost the price of another ticket in fees. And you know the artist gets nothing out of those fees. Just pisses me off.

Its well known that artists don't really make a bundle out of their recordings. Record companies give them a advance, from which they then charge them the cost of making the recording. Unless it sells a bajillion, they might get to keep some of the advance and not owe the "company" too much. Whoops. Now it used to be they went out on tour, and if they didn't snort coke like some put baby powder on infant butts, and party too hardy they could make some decent money. The life on the road is grueling so it had better be good. Now with the monopoly that is TicketTheifMaster who knows. And ticket prices keep going up. Wasn't the last Stones show locally over a hundred a pop before TicketRatMaster got their thieving fingers on you? Too much man. You can get a good six recordings for that. And you don't have to sit in nosebleed and require a small Hubble telescope to see the band up close and personal. Just stinks.