Monday, June 11, 2007

HC Ride and Riders

Did the HC off road ride. There are no mountains in Minnesota so we can't call it that. I took my ridiculous overkill double boinger Jamis Dakar. I ride it so little it needed a chance to show off that I own more than the orange QB I usually ride. So, I put air into the tires and arrived on time. See the drag with the Dakar is it was a bargain, but its Al-U-min-eum, so its not taken to well by the HC crowd. Plus its got an ass hatchet for a saddle. Its from the days where I too was a weight wienie. I sought to shave grams instead of examining my form in a mirror and knowing where the real kilos were in plain view. I gotta save up for another of HCs B17, maybe I'll make the Dakar feel better by buying one of the titanium railed jobs in black ors something. For a bike I hardly ride. Duh.

While I was browsing afterward, Jim exclaimed how he found a tick. As in woodtick. There were some comments about post ride stripping and mutual tick check. No one went first so I left. Good thing there were not women riders or I'm afraid Ray would have disrobed in seconds. Maybe less. Just for the shock factor you see.

Today I did my semi annual carpet cleaning. I bought a house with new carpet. Good quality carpet. Horsebleeping white carpet. Sigh. I'm a pig. Lets face it, laundry is harder for me, because I'm always puzzling over how to remove this or that stain from my shirts or pants. Can you imagine what my house is like? Oh, lord I do try. Its a good thing I don't date anyone, or more correctly why I don't date anyone as they come and see my hovel and well, that's the end of that.

So I shoved furniture around yesterday and vacuumed like a banshee. Everything everywhere. This morning I rented a extractor from Homer's Depot. Used their machines before and they work well. Pulled every fan I have out of my storage and got to work and cleaned all the carpeting. Shoved furniture around until it was done. Took seven hours with a stop for lunch. Nice warm day, all the windows open and the carpet dried quickly. Looks much better. Except for the enormous disarray of hte funiture in irrational locations. Maybe they'll get back into place this week.

After returning the machine and paying the big $28 (including a nice pair of ear plugs, the thing is really noisy for 6+ hours) I was a sight. Needed a shower a great deal. I shaved as usual when I shower and cleaned up. No big deal. As I was washing I discovered something unusual. In a very unusual place. Lets put it this way, if I was dating someone, and she got past my inability to keep a clean and neat home, and she ah, saw fit to sleep with me for more than rest, she'd might have found the tick first and in this case: Two strikes and you're out. Or she'd be out of there.

So, not only did I ride. I had a rider.

Best line on housekeeping ever. Zsa Zsa Gabor once said, "I'm a great housekeeper. Every time I get divorced, I keep the house." Ta dumb bump.

4 comments:

Eclectchick said...

AAAACK!!!!!

I just went for my first off-road ride on my cross bike tonight. I realized one of the many things which will be different about riding off-road as opposed to on is that I'll have to do a tick check when I get home.

And whoever thought up putting white carpet in houses should have to clean said carpets.

Doug said...

As I was getting into bed last night my wife asked me what was on my arm. Turns out a big wood tick had attached itself to the underside of my forearm. Never seen one go for such an open area. When I got out the tweezers and tried to extract him, he wouldn't let go. He was a fighter. Unfortunately for him he got the big flush.

Pete said...

No woodticks discovered here yet. But they're crafty bastards...

Cinnamon (Canela) said...

weight wienie???
Homer's Depot???

Are these regional idioms or Gordyisms???? No matter! I like them!

Oh, and keep your house clean IF that's what's really keeping you from dating ... I suspect though ... I suspect you're waiting/seeking for your equal!