100 Pointless Things About Me

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Either, it doesn't matter, I don't believe in monsters

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Not anymore, they aren't useful to a bald guy

3. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?
Yes, so, it was my honeymoon

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Yeah, stole a stop sign once, I was stupid in my youth

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
Yes, they are cool to nerds like me

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Sure, I misplace them

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
one bear please

8. Somehow either the creator or someone that did this survey before me couldn't count and 8 seems to be missing. Once again, I'm going to create my own and answer it. Do you prefer dogs or cats?
Dogs, they are always happy to see you, they give unconditional love, some cats seem to care less if you are around or not, unless they are pissed off at you. Dogs don't behave that way. I don't need a sarcastic depressed pet.

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
generally, only my 15 YO son doesn't to the best of my knowledge

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Liars

11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
either, its the sleep that matters not the arrangement of the bed

12. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
No, I don't see why you would

13. Have you ever pee'd in the woods?
yes, I'm a male its easy for me to do that

14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
No, I don't dance when there is music playing, fool

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
No, I stick them behind my ear, I can afford gum

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
Zero

17. Someone must have deleted 17 as it offended them or they couldn't handle an answer. Therefore I get to create my own and answer it too. Do you like the NFL?
Not in the least. I think its the sport that people who need another excuse to get over served need to drink heavily. They also seem to be fat from eating too much shitty snack food.

18. What is your "Song of the week"?
I don't have one, I listen to a lot of music

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
sure, I'm not into generalizations

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
sure, cartoons can be fun for adults and children, you got a problem with that?

21. Whats your least favorite movie?
Anything stupid like many Adam Sandler movies or Will Ferrell movies

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
A bank you moron, what is this 1928?

23. What do you drink with dinner?
water, soda, coffee, tea, juice

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Eeeyew, parts is parts, I don't buy them, I don't eat them

25. What is your favorite food/cuisine?
Indian

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Cinema Paradiso

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
I can't remember, its been a very long time and I'm trying not to think about it you bastard

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
I was a boy scout leader as an adult

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
No one wants to see me naked, least of all me

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
My ex-wife this summer

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
I do, always have

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
I just walked away without one when I deserved it, I admitted to speeding and still didn't get a ticket, go figure, being polite to officers of the law can be beneficial

33. Ran out of gas?
not in a long time, it pissed my ex-wife off a great deal, it turns out she told everyone about it

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?:
varies, its a problem, there aren't many foods I can't enjoy

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
some twigs and leaves with gravel for roughage

36. What is your usual bedtime?
between 9 and 10

37. Are you lazy?
yes, sadly, because I'm depressed

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for halloween?
stupid things, I was poor and didn't have much to work with

39. There was no 39 so I get to make one up. Do you enjoy riding bicycles more than driving in cars?
Absolutely, cars are for lazy people.

40. How many languages can you speak?
English and a few words in many languages

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
yes, music and cycling magazines you've never heard of

42..Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
its all good

43. Are you stubborn?
I can be

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Letterman is an asshole to the planet

45. Ever watch soap operas?
I do not, except when it made my ailing mother-in-law happy

46. Afraid of heights?
I am as an adult, wasn't as a kid

47. Sing in the car?
regularly

48. Dance in the shower?
No, I'm usually holding a blade, it isn't wise. Have you forgotten 14 already?

49. Dance in the car?
Never. See 48 and 14 idiot.

50. Ever used a gun?
I've fired them and killed something with one, its not a thing I enjoyed, its more a been there done that

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
My family years ago

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Others enjoy them, why knock that?

53. Is Christmas stressful?
I've begun to dislike the holiday yes

54. What do you want to be when you grow up?
I've been an engineer for more than 20 years and grateful to be what I want to be

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
Blueberry

56. Occupations as a kid?
Kids have occupations where you live? How stupid.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
No

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
sure

59. Take a vitamin daily?
I do

60. Wear slippers?
not now

61. Wear a bath robe?
no

62. What do you wear to bed?
undershorts and a tee shirt

63. First concert?
Bob Seger and Bachman Turner Overdrive. Seger blew BTO off the stage even if he was just the warm up. BTO was a bunch of fat guys that played bar chords. Even at 13 I knew they blew chunks. It was the only concert that came through Marquette Michigan at the time that I had any interest in. Seeing REO TwatSpit never interested me.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?
Target, the other two are for welfare rejects

65. Nike or Adidas?
either they're just shoes

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
yes

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
peanuts

68. Ever hear of, "gorp"?
Yup, I've made it and ate it

69. Ever take dance lessons?
I once had to do square dancing in junior high, it sucked, I'd rather play basketball in PE

70. Is there a profession you picture your spouse doing?
No preconceived notions

71. Can you curl your tongue?
sure

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
I'm a failure at spelling

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
no

74. Own any record albums?
hundreds

75. Own a record player?
its called a turntable you moron

76. Regularly burn incense?
no, I burn scented candles after I leave a big dump or make some strongly seasoned chili. Funny how those two incidents seem to follow one another.

77. Ever been in love?
sadly I was, am, probably always will be, and it will never be reciprocated again

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
Jimi Hendrix, but he's dead

79. What was the last concert you saw?
Richard Thompson

80.Hot tea or cold tea?
both are good

81.Tea or coffee?
Coffee, but i like tea too

82.Favorite kind of cookie?
I've never met a dessert I didn't like

83.Can you swim well?
I won't die usually

84.Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
yes, even infants can do that. Just try dunking one under water once, its an innate ability. Humans don't seem to want to drown by some reason. Hard for you to grasp huh?

85. Are you patient?
not always, who is?

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
Not

87.Ever won a contest?
yes

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
I'm bald, what's the point?

89. Which are better black or green olives?
black

90.Can you knit or crochet?
no interest in either, its just fine for lots of other folks though

91. Best room for a fireplace?
in your house, not mine

92. Do you want to get married?
Good grief, maybe I should date someone first, huh?

93. If married, how long have you been married?
not

94. Who was your HS crush?
I didn't have crushes, I went on dates. If I liked them I asked them out. It was that simple. I wasn't a chicken shit. Ever. He who snoozes loses.

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Hopefully not since I was two

96. Do you have kids?
yes

97. Do you want kids?
not anymore

98. Whats your favorite color?
green

99. Do you miss anyone right now?
it doesn't matter, they could give a fuck

100. current relationship?
single and not looking seriously

Stupid Survey I did on Myspace

Corona, Smirnoff or Bud light?
Ugh, Mountain Dew yah drunkard

Flowers, Candy, or Cards?
You know this sucker was written by a chick

Beer, Wine, or Mixed drinks:
Two of the first three questions are about alcohol, sure can tell where your mind was at dear alcoholic author

Football, soccer or baseball:
baseball, the other two suck

Kiss, Hand Holding, or Hug?
hand holding is for children.

Buy, Borrow, or Lease:
Save until you can buy

Ford, Chevy, or Dodge.
Haven't owned one of those in years, they all suck at reliability

Email, Telephone, or Letter?
Letters or email, but then I'm literate

California, New York, or Florida?
All of those locations are for people that need to be "seen", none of the above

Kisses on the Neck, Stomach, or Ears?
Did I TELL you to stop yet?

Morning, Afternoon, or Night?
whatever

Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Halloween?
Halloween, scaring the shit out of the little bastards is loads of fun and all my pranks get blamed on teenagers

Dogs, Cats, or Hamsters:
Dogs

Beach, Mountains, or Desert.
mountains are cool, water and deserts are boring

Cookies, Cake, or Brownies?
never met a dessert I didn't like

March, July, or October:
none

Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner:
breakfast

Giver, Sharer, or Keeper:
giver

Eyes, Nose, or Mouth:
stupid question, ear hair of course

Friends that lie, Enemies that pretend to be your friend, or Alone:
yet another stupid question

WHAT WAS YOUR...

1. last beverage:
mountain dew

2. last in-coming call:
my brother

3. last cd played:
Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers

4. last time you cried:
last Friday

5. last text message:
to my youngest son

THIS MONTH HAVE YOU...

1. Made a new friend?
tried

2. Laughed until you cried?
Nope, it has to be really funny for that

3. Met someone who changed your life?
no

4. Found out who are your true friends?
sadly yes


RANDOM...

1. How many kids do you want to have?
have three, lets stop while we're ahead, shall we?

2. Do you have any pets?
Yes and no, and that's all I'm going to say about that

3. Do you wanna change your name?
not really

4. What did you do yesterday?
went to work, got lots done

5. Do you get butterflies when you talk to that "special" someone?
more like wasps buzzing inside my noggin talking to that "unspecial" someone

6. What were you doing last night at 10:30pm?
trying to fall asleep

7. Last time you saw your father?
Years ago the week before he died

8. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?
divorce or marriage take your pick

9. What are you listening to right now?
Fresh Air on KNOW

10. Mariah, Madonna, Christina or Britney?
Not one of them can write a song by themselves worth a shit. I'm not sure any of the group could play an instrument without Special High Intensity Training (SHIT) before hand. I prefer music by the people that really create it in their heads and see the vision through to reality. Like Dylan, Hendrix, and so many more worthwhile artists. In 25 years, no one will remember Britney unless she's trashing some trailer park somewhere.

Yooper Off Road Riding

This past weekend I went to the Upper Peninsula and rode bikes. I forgot my camera so I didn't have any photos, but this morning my pal Kelly graced my in box with three photos. Two are really good and one not so hot since it had grown dark and was raining.

During the weekend, I managed to bust my Rock Shock on my Jamis Dakar. It slides, but has no damping ability whatsoever. I rode it anyway. Made descents terrible. I was leaning over on the handlebars more than usual and my hands took a beating. Some downhills were too rocky and steep and I had to walk down. With the leaves and the rain, skidding and slipping was a constant companion.

I'd also hauled along my Quickbeam and Kelly and I did a fixed gear road ride too. Great fun as we climbed Mount Marquette via the roadway. Its the site of a ski hill, so you can imagine what it was to climb. I've no idea how long it is, but it was a hoot even though by mid way up you begin to rethink your priorities. I had to use the brakes on the way down, I just didn't have the leg to maintain any control at the cadence required. Fixed is fun!

In the photo above, that is Luther on the left, Kelly in the middle and some big oaf that slowed them down all day long. Thankfully some fellow happened by to help by taking the photo. The second photo was taken by Kelly at the top of the first climb before it began to rain. You of course can tell the conditioning of the big dummy as I promptly got prone the moment I found them waiting for me. Hell of a warm up to climb that hill right from the get go. I should have asked Kelly to take a photo of the vista to give an idea of how high the climb was. Otherwise, I'm a lousy estimator and don't know how high we'd just climbed. For me it went downhill from there. Still had fun though. A bad day of cycling even in less than idea weather, is better than a great day at work.

Harleys in Peru

Do these photos make anyone else think of the Flintstones?

G'day Ms. Hooker

Okay, so you've never have heard of her by that name. Heck, I'm sure you didn't know her by her real name.

If you grew up as a male in the 60s through early 80s you do know what this character's name is; Miss Moneypenny. Yes, the double-entendre spewing administrative assistant of the big boss in James Bond movies. God bless her soul she passed away quietly due to cancer in Australia, her final homeland.

I grew up reading Bond books, that is books by Ian Fleming. I didn't see the movies because well, TV sucked in the 60s and 70s in the UP so I didn't see a Bond movie until, well, I no longer cared. By then I'd moved on to John le Carre' instead. Less sex, but far more intrigue. Yet, I always remembered the character of Moneypenny as she was referred. And always impressed with the early films with Connery, Lazenby, and Moore that had the exact same Moneypenny. I liked that loyalty. Loyalty is a big deal in my life. I don't know why or how, but it means something to me.

She was born some 80 years ago in Kitchener, Ontario as Lois Hooker. During WWII she fled home at 15, lied about her age, and joined the Royal Canadian Army to get away from her rural home life. She was a part of the Canadian Academy Entertainment Corp in England until her age was discovered. From there she managed to gain entrance to the Royal Academy of Arts in England where she made friends with Roger Moore whom she'd eventually share the screen with in seven Bond pictures. They remained lifelong friends to the end. She began her movie career in A Matter of Life and Death and soon won a Golden Globe for her acting in That Hagen Girl in 1947 and retired from films in 1989 when the Bond movies no longer came calling.

Lois Maxwell as her stage name, she was in many films in Hollywood including Stanley Kubrick's Lolita in 1962 which was followed by her fourteen picture stint as Miss Moneypenny starting with Dr. No in 1962. She was the perfect foil for the Bond character. Always exact, a little matronly, but yet with just the right touch of smitten for that dashing agent. The most recent Bond film with its new star Daniel Craig was the first Bond picture without a Moneypenny character. The succession of actors that tried to fill the character during the Dalton years, didn't warm anyone's hearts like Lois did.

Some of us are great by birth, some of us have greatness thrust upon us. Others don't achieve anything truly lasting. Lois was content to accept a character that I think is lasting and although small will be a legacy anyone should be proud of. Its sad that at least one Bond character never took her out for one long night on the town or more. She'd deserved that much. Rest well, Lois, you've earned it.

Sometimes

Sometimes, I need help connecting the dots. Time passes and a guy forgets things. Like in this case what scum Alan Greenspan was. And all I thought was he wanted to sell books. Thanks for the screw job pal.


Apologies to Tom Tomorrow. Thanks for keeping me in the know, dude. Keep those cards and letters comming.

When You Fire Them, Make Them Leave Now!

Hilly, I Barely Knew Ye

Rest in peace Hilly. That is Hilly Kristal (photo above) to those of you that don't know. He past away this weekend of complications due to lung cancer according to his son Dana. He created an establishment he called CBGB & OMFUG. This was to mean Country, BlueGrass, Blues and Other Music For Uplifting Gormandizers. Truthfully a Gormandizer is a voracious eater of food, but to Hilly it meant a voracious devourer of music. To be honest Hilly was personally a country music fan. He only began letting almost unknown bands play at his bar when country bands wouldn't come there for he was located in the Bowery and the bands pestered him until he gave in.

The names that he permitted to play are the stuff of legends. And his requirements go hand in hand. They had to play their own compositions. You could get one cover a night, do two and he'd pull your plug and you might not get another gig there for a long time. He fostered the new sounds from the newest bands. The Ramones, Television, Blondie, Talking Heads, Sonic Youth and Patti Smith. Patti was the last artist to play there last fall when CBGB closed permanently. It closed because he was a victim of the old adage, "location, location, and location." The Bowery went from being the last place you wanted to visit, to a hub of artists and upscale renters. He simply couldn't afford the rent because the rents around him went up. Consider that the crafty or lucky Hilly actually made on the order of 2 million dollars just on his tee shirt concession with the simple statement CBGB.

Ah, he could be a pain in the ass. He liked country and here he was listening to guys that could barely play, much less competently. The Ramones are legend among his gripes. They argued, they walked off stage, they played very loud, the members played different songs at the same time, they simply didn't know how to play at first. But he let them come back. Why? Who knows. Hilly was known to say once they became a legend of their own, "Shit, they got better." And maybe that was all Hilly needed. I think he lived for the crazy people that showed up like Wayne Country. His joint became an icon before we of that era knew what icon meant.

I never made it to CBGB. In 1978-1980 I wanted to. I had begun hearing the Ramones, the Clash, Elvis Costello, Patti Smith, and more and they all ventured through those doors. By then the bar was a magnet for more than just bands and their victims, er fans. A close friend got the chance to go while on a NYC trip. He met a mutual friend we knew that lived in NYC and they took the subway and walked down to CBGB. He was really excited. He was close enough to hear it and see the line of people out front.

When out of a dark alley stepped 5-7 Puerto Rican youths. The one closest had the always dangerous "Saturday Night Special." A cheap black .22 revolver not known for accuracy, but its ability to go off at the wrong moment. His graduation watch, his cash, his entire wallet in fact. The pal had used the old trick of holding back a $20 and a few subway tokens in a shoe. It was all they had. They caught a cab/subway home. No tee shirt even.

I've always kept that story as the epitome of Midwesterners visiting CBGBs. Just as likely to see a cool band, you could see some dud that you'd not remember two weeks later. And you could as likely be mugged. Few mention the seamy side of the Bowery. That is how that neighborhood really was. People got beat up in the street. Read any of the books by the people that lived in the era. Drugs were easy to find and so was the trouble.

Just the same, without CBGB a lot of bands wouldn't exist. The goofy guy with the goofy name with the most notorious bathrooms in history made it happen. No one can say what might have not happened without him. Its impossible to separate the music era and its history without Hilly. I'm sorry I missed out. Damn youth is wasted on the young.

With Apologies to Tom Tomorrow

Holy shit if that isn't the funniest in a while.

The Bunnies and Peter Himmelman

That Crucial Last 15 Minutes

In The Know: Candidates Compete For Vital Idgit Vote

Oh, Oh, This Ain't Right

Oh man, lets get out of here...

Probably Not

What the hell was that?

Okay
boys
and
girls.
First
study
the
photo
above.
Try
to
figure
out,
what
the
hell
made
what
he's
pointing
at
on
this
poor
boy.


Think
very
hard
before
you
look
at
the
second
photo
below.

Notice
the
shirt?

I Didn't Do It

This is the saddest tragedy in my lifetime that was actually close enough that I'm sure to know someone that is effected. Here is to hoping all of my friends and their loved ones are as safe and sound (well as sound as I'll ever be) as I am.

So, You Think It Will Sell On eBay?

Kevin McHale Sucks

McHales' WoodMutts. That is what this team shall be called forthwith. Not the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Its being rumored strongly that McHales' WoodMutts will be trading off their finest player. That would be Kevin Garnett. For KG I am grateful. He's going somewhere that he might actually win a few games and work with people that want to win. For us, dog shit. Trouble is, I never ever ever want to see the Celtics win or contend for a championship. Sorry KG. Hating those pricks in Boston comes first. You should have gone to LA or Phoenix.

The trade is being made by old pals Kevin McHale and that feared and dreaded former Celtic partner, Danny Ainge. First of all, let it be said, the Celtics are the Yankees of professional basketball. Have been, and always will be. Since Red Auerbach (bet them ci-gars are easy to light in hell, right Red?) swindled, cheated, and berated every other team into bowing at his stinkin' cheap cigars. I smell a swindle here. KM couldn't pull off a smart trade with a blind, deaf, and dumb person unacquainted with the sport basketball. Ainge, ever the cagey one was a man known throughout his career for getting under the skin of others, regardless if it was legal or not. He's a grade A jerk and a successful one. KM? No so much. He got hit with too many pucks back in Hibbing. Shoulda wore a face mask dude.

Under his fine care the team has gone no where but down hill. From decent to lousy to worse coaches. From a increasingly older and less talented group of players around KG. Can anyone name one successful thing the man did? I can't. I don't know anyone that can. The Wild (gosh I hate that team name) have been wildly successful because they have no competition. Yeah, the pun was intended. And won't for some time.

Good luck KG, you were a good guy for the team and the area. You were never a jerk, you were never in trouble, and you put you heart out on the court. Now get outta here before they change their minds.

McHale, why didn't you stick with playing hockey for cryin' out loud? Sixth man? Shit man.

Stolen!

Yeah, I stole this video from How to Avoid the Bummer Life. So what. Its too good not to share. Everybody needs a hero some days.

Too Funny Not To Pass Along

What some fans in France will do to get their photos printed. Their best side too.