New Bike

Today was the long awaited (by some) maiden voyage of the Bleriot. An example is above, but its not mine. I'll post photos later. I just finished assembly last night and haven't even shellacked the bar tape yet. I rode it down to work, meeting pal Bill along the way. We rode together for the Hiawatha Cyclery ride. There I'm guessing we put on about 14 miles or so. Add to that the 18 miles to the shop from home and back, I'm guessing I put on 50 miles. Maybe more, but 50 will be close enough. I didn't have the cyclometer installed yet. I need to change out the shifters got get better rear and front shifting. Tally for the day:

50 miles
1 flat tire, which made no sense (the hole was on the inside (rim side) of the tube)
Two lost bolts - I had not tightened the clips to the pedals and two fell off before I realized. I got two replacement from Jim at HC
One scratch obtained while leaning it against a light post near Al's Breakfast in Dinkytown
One fall over, where I didn't pay attention and Mark Stonich made a right and I hadn't slowed enough and panic braked without pulling my feet out of the clips and fell over.
Annoyed everyone in hearing distance from my braking, I didn't toe in the Dia Compe center pulls and they squeal outrageously
One altercation observed - maybe I'll right about this later, its begun to really bug me (my behavior or specifically lack there of)
Wonderful conversation with Bill - just one of those great riding partners

Incentive

Last night the Twins played the Mets in New York. The pitcher for the Twins was Santana. At some point in the pre-game warm up and visit by the broadcasting staff, a conversation occurred between Santana and Bert Blyleven, former Twins pitcher and now broadcaster for the Twins. Here is the gist as reported in this morning's New York Times:

Santana may be involved in a more entertaining event today. Bert Blyleven, a former Twins pitcher who is now a broadcaster, told Santana before the game that if he pitched a complete-game shutout, Blyleven would allow his head to be shaved.

“Believe me, it’s going to happen,” Santana said of Blyleven’s haircut. “I will definitely look for him. Hopefully, by game time, he’ll be bald."

Me, I'll be looking for that new hair style on Bert and it will be interesting if he can find a way to motivate the next pitcher to throw a full game shut-out.

Never Sleep on Airplanes

Happy Father's Day To All You Dad's

I heard a neat idea on Weekend Edition this morning on public radio. At the end of the program they always mention the people you don't hear and give their positions in thanks for their efforts. Somewhat like the credits at the end of the movie. This morning they listed them as Eliza Grace our sound engineer, daughter of Albert Grace. Or out sound engineer was the the daughter of Albert Grace, Eliza Grace. I'm sure its been done before and some would think it trite, but I thought it was a nice way of recognizing we all have fathers we should be thankful for. Even if they were horrible parents, left you penniless, showed no support, or whatever you wouldn't exist without them and unless you'd rather be dead, you ought to be grateful, at least a little. On the other hand, I think it is another useless made up holiday, so the greeting card industry won't go out of business.

Here's a joke for this father's day, which I'd bet is apocryphal. In theory this is supposed to have been a chart entry made by a doctor while seeing a patient.

"The patient admitted to having four children, but appears to have no other abnormalities."

Only a dad will admit to having children is an abnormality.

Database

So someone wrote and asked, database? You mention a database? What chu talking 'bout Willis?

Years ago, while injured I was playing around with databases on my computer and decided to organize my music collection onto a database on my computer. Later I started to put the things into the database as owned or want so I could print out a small "desired" list.

Then years ago, I bought my first PDA and discovered I could put a database onto it. What a concept! I'd got it so I could have my mobile schedule as I wandered work and it would remind me, be here there or whatever. This was a bonus. I could have a listing of recordings I wanted, and those I owned whenever I carried it. It took a lot of learning to translate the database I'd created in one program to convert to the Palm, but it worked.

Eventually it died. It got carried everywhere. And like my issues with getting food into my mouth instead of on my clothing, it got dropped. Not damaged, but it began to behave peculiarly. So I found someone with a used one that was color! Oh, man, and the software available was even better. But the database I'd been using wasn't available for this language. Grrr, stupid Microshaft.
So once again I set about converting. This was a little trickier as I had to translate to a third mutual language, and then back to something this little bugger could read. I used this one so much I wore out rechargeable batteries. I created a vast shopping list system, so I could create a list based on what I liked to buy in groceries, by aisle, in order of their location, so it was an easy way to shop and you didn't look for things. Having a list is good, being able to skip aisles you shouldn't be on (like cookies) is even better. I found I stuck to budget. Finally the display on this one began to go wacky. I'd just used the sucker to death. Got my money's worth you might say. Yay me. So I began to look for another. I found one that I liked, would take my database language, no conversion, and eliminated my cell phone. One thing instead of two. Yippee! Its smaller in some ways (width) and has its own keyboard so I didn't have to write using a stylus although I can if I want. Its thicker, but it fits into a shirt pocket. Now, I was really relying on the bugger. How to prevent dropping it? A lanyard around my neck? Surgically implant a hoop for my hip and connect it to that? Piercings? Nope, my solution was to buy an aluminum padded case to take the abuse.


So far so good. I've had my accidents in the six months I've owned it and it seems to have taken the punishment.
Back to this geekness database. So I have a listing of my recordings in it. As long as I update the thing every time I buy something, all is well. Sometimes I procrastinate (always!) and forget to put it in the day I discover something at a garage sale. Or a sale at the Minneapolis Library, which sometimes has great sales of eclectic music and books. So I bought a copy of "Blue" by
The Jayhawks and didn't put it in. By the looks of the box and disc, it was a garage sale as the disc appears completely unused. Now I bought a second copy, but a later version that has extra songs and came in the easily damaged cardboard box thing. I'll keep that although he cardboard is more beaten, but the extra songs are the big plus. The database is easily searchable, buy artist, title, year released, producer, label, if its on my Sony cheap imitation iPod, if I own it, or if I was at least at one time interested in owning it. I have written screens so that it will show me only those I want, and only those I own.

Like everything else, garbage in, garbage out. If I don't put it in, I won't know I own it. Yeah, technology saves you only when you use it consistently. You moron. And yes, Sony no longer produces my little device and in fact there hasn't been a software update since the year made. Can you say, "ass kicked by Apple, iTunes, and the iPod?" I knew you could. Even big companies don't always figure it out. Note, this is the fifth generation of a device to compete with the iPod. So its not like they failed once; they failed five times with a target to shoot at. And trust me, I'm not laying the blame on the engineers and designers. This is all about timing and management.

So I've got a copy of "Blue" to drop off at either Cheapo or Electric Fetus for sale as used. I'm a little broke now, so it will wait. I'm not quite capable of going in with less money than I come out with.

So, Sew What?

The Friday before the Richard Thompson Band show, I went to the Electric Fetus and picked up a few recordings. Like the new Richard Thompson disc and few others. Total purchase was this:

Taking Tiger Mountain by Strategy by Brain Eno
untitled by Grinderman (Nick Cave)
Blue Earth by the Jayhawks
twelve by Patti Smith
two more by Patti Smith (vinyl only!)
Sweet Warrior by Richard Thompson
Saltbreakers by Laura Veirs
Carbon Glacier by Laura Veirs
Release the Stars by Rufus Wainwright

The Eno is 20+ years old and I have it on vinyl. I've been slowly getting the disc version of Eno's best. Just have had a hankering for the last year. The Grinderman is the lastest incarnation of a Nick Cave band. Oh is it delicious on the first listens. Its raw and loud and features a guitar sound that is just like the band name, like grinding or other loud metal work in a foundry. What I wouldn't do to see him live on this tour. The Jayhawks was a fuck up. I had a copy, but neglected to put it in my database. D'Oh! I hate when that happens. Anyway it was a used copy, in better shape then the one I have, so I'll bring my first copy in for sale. The Patti Smith I like, but not as much as I hoped. I'm hoping it will grow on me. The RT is very solid. Some great songs to start itoff and more memorable after seeing them done in concert. The two Laura Veirs are solid. She is on quite the roll. She's quirky good pop fun. Rufus is a secret guilty pleasure. I love his voice and like to sing along. I'm sure my neighbors hate Rufus already. He's so funny at times too. Mojo makes it sound like he might be developing a gigantic ego besides. Lets hope not.

Richard Thompson at the Fitzgerald

I've seen Richard Thompson many times, so I'm both a little biased, but I'm also a little jaded. Every other time I saw him, he was alone. He has toured with others like Bonnie Raitt and her band, but he performed alone. Except when he joined Bonnie and her group on stage. He's a complete showman. He can make a guitar seem like more than one instrument at at time. Yet, it does lack a little. This show was in support of his recent recording Sweet Warrior. Its a good recording, better than some, not his best. It has some great stuff on it as usual.

The show at the Fitz tonight included three other band members. First was the multi-instrument playing Pete Zorn (I think) . He was awesome, playing bass flute which Richard referred to as "wicked piece of plumbing" because it is goofy looking, as well as mandolin, guitar, alto and tenor sax, and backing vocals. Then there was Danny Thompson (no relation) playing an amplified upright bass both with his fingers or a bow. Last was the percussionist a tall lanky fellow by the name of Michael Jerome. His normal playing style was a mere flick of the wrist, but was loud enough. At times he really stretched out his enormous arms (I'm guessing he's a six foot tall kind of guy) and effortlessly got gigantic sound volume. Oh, man and tight. Every song seemed to have tempo changes and prearranged frilly ends to songs. All four guys were just note for note solid. Seeing a bunch of experienced artists work so hard and make it look effortless yet be so on top of their game was just stupendous.

I'm not good at knowing song titles and such, but he played an excellent spectrum of his stuff from Fairport Convention songs, to something from his days with Linda his then wife ("Wall of Death"), to other recordings from the eighties and nineties. Some of the loudest calls of appreciation came for one of my favorites; "1952 Vincent Black Lightning" from Rumor and Sigh. He also played "A Man in Need", "Al Bowly's In Heaven", "Tear Stained Letter", and a lot of songs from the new disc. The ones I recall are:

Needle and Thread
I'll Never Give Up
Stupid Man
Dad's Gonna Kill Me ("a pro anti-war song" where "Dad" is short for Bagdad, like "Nam" was short for Vietnam)
Too Late to Come Fishing
Sunset Song

If there was more, its because I've not listened to the new disc enough. I'm there to enjoy myself not be a scribe for the folks that like set lists. Its not my thing.

There was one song I didn't recognize. One companion noted how "He's on fire" and the other noted "he shredded that sucker." It was the longest solo I've ever seen Richard do. Plus there were solo's for Danny on bass and Pete on one instrument. Michael didn't need solos, you couldn't miss his solid beat. It was always there. The song just left me in awe.

Richard I think was at his best with a band. He didn't have to carry the whole show. He can and make it look effortless without them. But this way he seemed energized, playful (see solos), and even more witty with the audience. Every time I've ever seen RT, the locals yell out their favorites (note I did not yell out "Black Vincent" or "Red Molly" as some might call it) for him to play. In one show they kept yelling out stuff from his early years or the stuff he and Linda had done. I don't think at the time that was in his fondest memory. At one point he got serious stopped tuning and diddling with the strings and inquired, "have you bought any recordings from the recent decade?" This time he was kinder. Telling them, yes, thank you, we aren't going to play them, but if you must go ahead shout titles out. He muttered at one point, I might be the only one on stage that knows that one. He had a set list, and they were sticking to it. This wasn't bad. In fact it was great. A two hour plus show, they started on time, there was no warm up, just the headliner coming out without a dramatic delay. And they got right to it. And it was one hell of a ride and I'm guessing there were few that didn't appreciate it. I know I and my companions really enjoyed RT and his band tonight. I'll see him every time he comes with a band. It was that good.

Impressive

Trust me, this kind of thing only happens when Dads are doing the changing. You now know there is a phenomenon called, projectile pooping.

HC Ride and Riders

Did the HC off road ride. There are no mountains in Minnesota so we can't call it that. I took my ridiculous overkill double boinger Jamis Dakar. I ride it so little it needed a chance to show off that I own more than the orange QB I usually ride. So, I put air into the tires and arrived on time. See the drag with the Dakar is it was a bargain, but its Al-U-min-eum, so its not taken to well by the HC crowd. Plus its got an ass hatchet for a saddle. Its from the days where I too was a weight wienie. I sought to shave grams instead of examining my form in a mirror and knowing where the real kilos were in plain view. I gotta save up for another of HCs B17, maybe I'll make the Dakar feel better by buying one of the titanium railed jobs in black ors something. For a bike I hardly ride. Duh.

While I was browsing afterward, Jim exclaimed how he found a tick. As in woodtick. There were some comments about post ride stripping and mutual tick check. No one went first so I left. Good thing there were not women riders or I'm afraid Ray would have disrobed in seconds. Maybe less. Just for the shock factor you see.

Today I did my semi annual carpet cleaning. I bought a house with new carpet. Good quality carpet. Horsebleeping white carpet. Sigh. I'm a pig. Lets face it, laundry is harder for me, because I'm always puzzling over how to remove this or that stain from my shirts or pants. Can you imagine what my house is like? Oh, lord I do try. Its a good thing I don't date anyone, or more correctly why I don't date anyone as they come and see my hovel and well, that's the end of that.

So I shoved furniture around yesterday and vacuumed like a banshee. Everything everywhere. This morning I rented a extractor from Homer's Depot. Used their machines before and they work well. Pulled every fan I have out of my storage and got to work and cleaned all the carpeting. Shoved furniture around until it was done. Took seven hours with a stop for lunch. Nice warm day, all the windows open and the carpet dried quickly. Looks much better. Except for the enormous disarray of hte funiture in irrational locations. Maybe they'll get back into place this week.

After returning the machine and paying the big $28 (including a nice pair of ear plugs, the thing is really noisy for 6+ hours) I was a sight. Needed a shower a great deal. I shaved as usual when I shower and cleaned up. No big deal. As I was washing I discovered something unusual. In a very unusual place. Lets put it this way, if I was dating someone, and she got past my inability to keep a clean and neat home, and she ah, saw fit to sleep with me for more than rest, she'd might have found the tick first and in this case: Two strikes and you're out. Or she'd be out of there.

So, not only did I ride. I had a rider.

Best line on housekeeping ever. Zsa Zsa Gabor once said, "I'm a great housekeeper. Every time I get divorced, I keep the house." Ta dumb bump.

Sound

That is one sound sleeper. I can't balance empty cans that high on a level non-human surface. The pile on the back of the head just boggles my mind.

If You Need Instructions

If you need instructions on how to wear a garment in public, maybe you shouldn't be wearing them?

Happy Birthday - Now Get Back Into The Grave

For two months I've been reading (Mojo) and hearing how its the anniversary of the summer of love and most importantly that behemoth recording by the Beatles, Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club band. And man its only begun, three more months to suffer through.

Lets get it over with. I've not enjoyed that album for 20 years. The last time a Beatles re-issue (and face it, that is all there ever will be - re-issues, they're as dead as Led Zeppelin and so many other has beens) for that recording. I heard on and on how marvelous George Martin had made the CD sound. So I bought it. Sucker! Oh sure, I pretended at first, but I soon came to the conclusion: I no longer liked it. Its dated. Its dull. Its well packaged to the point of having no soul. Its calculated to reach the easily led. Its the Wal Mart of recordings.

Sure they sing about a girl leaving home, but Tom Waits would have had a lot better story about the namby pamby chickenshit girl leaving home. Big deal. And if that was '67 where was the brewing angst? Oh yeah. Explosions. And holes in Albert Hall. Huh? They had nothing to compare to the stuff the Stones were doing or going to do. And face it after Sgt. Peppers, the Beatles began that slide down hill to bickering. Arguing over money (of which there was plenty) and whose girlfriend was a bigger pain in the ass (Yoko or tuneless Linda - shit, you pick for me cause that is one appalling choice - vegan TV dinners or the horseface screecher?) There was poor Ringo stuck in the middle just enjoying the ride and trying to make it last.

What the hell did they have to be stressed out about? It was Brian "Surfer" Wilson driving himself mad in California because he couldn't compete. It was Brian Jones, giving his life to what? Because of depression over the loss of his band? Because he was stupid? Who exactly knows? Then Mick Taylor did his time in the Stones and found it to be great, but enough was enough. And left happily And then Bill Wyman, where the bloody hell was his brain anyhow? Did he think he was more than a bit player or what? Talk about deluded. Even his loopy book of his "happy" days in the Stones was incredibly boring. Take a song like "Sympathy For The Devil" and add a murder during a free concert performance of it.

Do the Beatles have anything like that? Like heck. They only drama they ever had they created so they'd have tension to work against. They had slap fighting between Lennon and McCartney over whose name went first on the credits like two sixth grade girl scouts arguing over who was the better cookie Mom. Shit kill me now Lord. And people worship the non-existent recordings they don't make.

The reason that the Beatles stand out? Why people remember them? They can remember their boring lyrics without working at. They can easily remember the song they heard after getting laid the first time or some sad tale. "She loves you yee-ah". Oh, boy. Try deciphering Tumbling Dice by the Stones sometime. Oh hell, try deciphering anything on "Exile On Main Street". Music is supposed to be cerebral, not for simpletons to easily memorize. Give me "Beggars Banquet", "Exile..", "Let It Bleed", "Sticky Fingers" and "Some Girls" over everything in not only the Beatles catalog, but everything in that stupid Apple records company catalog. Oh boy, that amounted to a lot.

Strand me on a deserted island with a single Beatles recording and I'd kill myself long before rescue is possible. Give me the Stones and I'll be happier to think of a way to signal, survive, and escape from that sandy hot hell. They just have so much more soul. Everything is so well calculated with the Beatles that its hard to imagine anything but a perfect world that is impossible. Memorable lyrics? Yeah they are easy to remember but are they worthy?

Where was their angst against the US? Weren't they sick of us already and our war in Vietnam? Forty years later our own Rufus Wainwright is, thank God, showing us what schmucks we've become collectively. And twenty years ago it was the Clash. Here's lyrics for you.

"Back in my garage
with my bullshit detector
Carbon monoxide
making sure its effective"
"Garageland" The Clash from the first recording "The Clash."

And how about this?

Never mind the stars and stripes
Lets print the Watergate Tapes
I'll salute the New Wave
Lets hope nobody escapes
I'm so bored with the U...S..A..
"I'm So Bored With The USA" The Clash from their first recording "The Clash".

And this for Paris "Jailbird" Hilton, enjoying her stay in big house:

I don't wanna hear about what the rich are doing
I don't wanna go to where the rich are going
They think they're so clever, they think they're so right
But the truth is only known by guttersnipes
"Garageland" The Clash from the first recording "The Clash."

So instead of making a cake and planting candles I'll dig a hole, shove my Sgt. Peppers recordings in it, piss on it from on high, and shovel manure on top so it won't rise again in 20 years and no one will notice the stink. So happy fucking birthday Sgt. Peppers, now stay dead.

Quiet

How quiet was that news room during this segment?

Addicted

This would be the definition of an internet junkie, don't you think?

Goth

Caroline found it difficult to fit in with her new Goth friends.

Graduate?

I don't think this lad was at the top of his class when he graduated.

Vacation!

Spending $5000 to have your family reunion in the Bahamas
Having a stranger take you photo while there, FREE!
Spending $100 on duplicates for holiday greeting cards
No one noticing the naked dork in the top right, PRICELESS

Captain! I tell yah, she won't fit in there!

Seems a Texan truck driver with a load of bath fixtures, had a vehicle 13 feet and six inches tall. The Lincoln tunnel is at a maximum 13 feet tall. NYC has a system that checks the vehicle height and sets off all kinds of automated lights, sirens and such. Including a cop yelling over the loudspeaker, "Hey, you big dummy, you're rig is too tall for that tunnel!". He claimed to be confused and drove the entire length before stopping. It ripped off hundreds of ceiling tiles as well as the roof of the rig. Think he's still employed today?

I went up North for 3 days and...

Its just like those shirts you've seen, "My mom went to Wall Drug and all I got was this tee-shirt." Funny the first time. Now not so much.

Me, I went up North for 3 days and all I got was a bloody cold. I hate summer colds. I have enough trouble sleeping as it is, not to add drinking too much clear liquids and coughing myself awake.

Oh yeah. I'm getting a lot accomplished. I'm lucky I made it into work twice this week. So far. Otherwise? I'm too plugged with mucus to think. Constant sinus headaches are sooo much fun. What I really need is a real Finn sauna and a jump in a good cold lake like Superior. Nothing like heart stopping thermal shock to get you feeling fit as a wet spaghetti noodle. Oh, but how well you sleep. I'm hoping to recover for the HC ride. I've missed it for a few weeks. This was the week where I wanted to start riding to it. I'm sure I'll chicken out on that now.

Man are they going to town on the new bike path along Highway 88 and Stinson. It should be ready to ride in no time. I won't use it much to commute., It will come in handy to ride to lunch and stuff. Got to get off my ass more often. Time to go gargle with salt water or some equally crazy shit.

Remembered

I remembered what it was I wanted to write about. Dane Bjarne Riis. The 1996 Tour winner. Bald tour winner. He was a hero of mine. After Miguel Indurain he came out of no where to deny Big Mig his six and then precedence setting sixth tour win. Truth was of course that Big Mig was fading. He didn't have what it took to win the sixth.

And now of course the question is, did he? Or did he not have the chemistry in his blood stream to compete with the doping Bjarne?

How can I say this? Bjarne admits to doping yesterday. That is a New York Times article and won't be available forever. You can read it on your own. It's unknown what drove Bjarne to this as he is the manager of the CSC team in current contention. Some of his Telekom team mates admitted to doping in the year he won the tour. And in the year after in their support of Jan Ullrich. Peer pressure perhaps. Bjarne said he doped during his win and if they want his yellow jersey, "its in a box, I've got my own memories." If he were to return it, they would list "no winner" in the records of the tour.

This is crushing. All the heroes are falling. They were all using with the excuse you couldn't compete unless you did. Who's next? The list is getting longer. The sport is tainted.

I've always loved the former advertisement "Better life through chemistry." Heck I believe it. Still this isn't what I meant. I wanted improvements that made the average life better, the people struggling better. The unhealthy better. Not the top 200 of a sport in the world that much or superhumanly better. Cheaters that will spend more time conspiring how not to get caught than on training. I like Eddy Merckx's answer to the question much better, the now famous, "Just ride."