Sound

That is one sound sleeper. I can't balance empty cans that high on a level non-human surface. The pile on the back of the head just boggles my mind.

If You Need Instructions

If you need instructions on how to wear a garment in public, maybe you shouldn't be wearing them?

Happy Birthday - Now Get Back Into The Grave

For two months I've been reading (Mojo) and hearing how its the anniversary of the summer of love and most importantly that behemoth recording by the Beatles, Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club band. And man its only begun, three more months to suffer through.

Lets get it over with. I've not enjoyed that album for 20 years. The last time a Beatles re-issue (and face it, that is all there ever will be - re-issues, they're as dead as Led Zeppelin and so many other has beens) for that recording. I heard on and on how marvelous George Martin had made the CD sound. So I bought it. Sucker! Oh sure, I pretended at first, but I soon came to the conclusion: I no longer liked it. Its dated. Its dull. Its well packaged to the point of having no soul. Its calculated to reach the easily led. Its the Wal Mart of recordings.

Sure they sing about a girl leaving home, but Tom Waits would have had a lot better story about the namby pamby chickenshit girl leaving home. Big deal. And if that was '67 where was the brewing angst? Oh yeah. Explosions. And holes in Albert Hall. Huh? They had nothing to compare to the stuff the Stones were doing or going to do. And face it after Sgt. Peppers, the Beatles began that slide down hill to bickering. Arguing over money (of which there was plenty) and whose girlfriend was a bigger pain in the ass (Yoko or tuneless Linda - shit, you pick for me cause that is one appalling choice - vegan TV dinners or the horseface screecher?) There was poor Ringo stuck in the middle just enjoying the ride and trying to make it last.

What the hell did they have to be stressed out about? It was Brian "Surfer" Wilson driving himself mad in California because he couldn't compete. It was Brian Jones, giving his life to what? Because of depression over the loss of his band? Because he was stupid? Who exactly knows? Then Mick Taylor did his time in the Stones and found it to be great, but enough was enough. And left happily And then Bill Wyman, where the bloody hell was his brain anyhow? Did he think he was more than a bit player or what? Talk about deluded. Even his loopy book of his "happy" days in the Stones was incredibly boring. Take a song like "Sympathy For The Devil" and add a murder during a free concert performance of it.

Do the Beatles have anything like that? Like heck. They only drama they ever had they created so they'd have tension to work against. They had slap fighting between Lennon and McCartney over whose name went first on the credits like two sixth grade girl scouts arguing over who was the better cookie Mom. Shit kill me now Lord. And people worship the non-existent recordings they don't make.

The reason that the Beatles stand out? Why people remember them? They can remember their boring lyrics without working at. They can easily remember the song they heard after getting laid the first time or some sad tale. "She loves you yee-ah". Oh, boy. Try deciphering Tumbling Dice by the Stones sometime. Oh hell, try deciphering anything on "Exile On Main Street". Music is supposed to be cerebral, not for simpletons to easily memorize. Give me "Beggars Banquet", "Exile..", "Let It Bleed", "Sticky Fingers" and "Some Girls" over everything in not only the Beatles catalog, but everything in that stupid Apple records company catalog. Oh boy, that amounted to a lot.

Strand me on a deserted island with a single Beatles recording and I'd kill myself long before rescue is possible. Give me the Stones and I'll be happier to think of a way to signal, survive, and escape from that sandy hot hell. They just have so much more soul. Everything is so well calculated with the Beatles that its hard to imagine anything but a perfect world that is impossible. Memorable lyrics? Yeah they are easy to remember but are they worthy?

Where was their angst against the US? Weren't they sick of us already and our war in Vietnam? Forty years later our own Rufus Wainwright is, thank God, showing us what schmucks we've become collectively. And twenty years ago it was the Clash. Here's lyrics for you.

"Back in my garage
with my bullshit detector
Carbon monoxide
making sure its effective"
"Garageland" The Clash from the first recording "The Clash."

And how about this?

Never mind the stars and stripes
Lets print the Watergate Tapes
I'll salute the New Wave
Lets hope nobody escapes
I'm so bored with the U...S..A..
"I'm So Bored With The USA" The Clash from their first recording "The Clash".

And this for Paris "Jailbird" Hilton, enjoying her stay in big house:

I don't wanna hear about what the rich are doing
I don't wanna go to where the rich are going
They think they're so clever, they think they're so right
But the truth is only known by guttersnipes
"Garageland" The Clash from the first recording "The Clash."

So instead of making a cake and planting candles I'll dig a hole, shove my Sgt. Peppers recordings in it, piss on it from on high, and shovel manure on top so it won't rise again in 20 years and no one will notice the stink. So happy fucking birthday Sgt. Peppers, now stay dead.

Quiet

How quiet was that news room during this segment?

Addicted

This would be the definition of an internet junkie, don't you think?

Goth

Caroline found it difficult to fit in with her new Goth friends.

Graduate?

I don't think this lad was at the top of his class when he graduated.

Vacation!

Spending $5000 to have your family reunion in the Bahamas
Having a stranger take you photo while there, FREE!
Spending $100 on duplicates for holiday greeting cards
No one noticing the naked dork in the top right, PRICELESS

Captain! I tell yah, she won't fit in there!

Seems a Texan truck driver with a load of bath fixtures, had a vehicle 13 feet and six inches tall. The Lincoln tunnel is at a maximum 13 feet tall. NYC has a system that checks the vehicle height and sets off all kinds of automated lights, sirens and such. Including a cop yelling over the loudspeaker, "Hey, you big dummy, you're rig is too tall for that tunnel!". He claimed to be confused and drove the entire length before stopping. It ripped off hundreds of ceiling tiles as well as the roof of the rig. Think he's still employed today?

I went up North for 3 days and...

Its just like those shirts you've seen, "My mom went to Wall Drug and all I got was this tee-shirt." Funny the first time. Now not so much.

Me, I went up North for 3 days and all I got was a bloody cold. I hate summer colds. I have enough trouble sleeping as it is, not to add drinking too much clear liquids and coughing myself awake.

Oh yeah. I'm getting a lot accomplished. I'm lucky I made it into work twice this week. So far. Otherwise? I'm too plugged with mucus to think. Constant sinus headaches are sooo much fun. What I really need is a real Finn sauna and a jump in a good cold lake like Superior. Nothing like heart stopping thermal shock to get you feeling fit as a wet spaghetti noodle. Oh, but how well you sleep. I'm hoping to recover for the HC ride. I've missed it for a few weeks. This was the week where I wanted to start riding to it. I'm sure I'll chicken out on that now.

Man are they going to town on the new bike path along Highway 88 and Stinson. It should be ready to ride in no time. I won't use it much to commute., It will come in handy to ride to lunch and stuff. Got to get off my ass more often. Time to go gargle with salt water or some equally crazy shit.

Remembered

I remembered what it was I wanted to write about. Dane Bjarne Riis. The 1996 Tour winner. Bald tour winner. He was a hero of mine. After Miguel Indurain he came out of no where to deny Big Mig his six and then precedence setting sixth tour win. Truth was of course that Big Mig was fading. He didn't have what it took to win the sixth.

And now of course the question is, did he? Or did he not have the chemistry in his blood stream to compete with the doping Bjarne?

How can I say this? Bjarne admits to doping yesterday. That is a New York Times article and won't be available forever. You can read it on your own. It's unknown what drove Bjarne to this as he is the manager of the CSC team in current contention. Some of his Telekom team mates admitted to doping in the year he won the tour. And in the year after in their support of Jan Ullrich. Peer pressure perhaps. Bjarne said he doped during his win and if they want his yellow jersey, "its in a box, I've got my own memories." If he were to return it, they would list "no winner" in the records of the tour.

This is crushing. All the heroes are falling. They were all using with the excuse you couldn't compete unless you did. Who's next? The list is getting longer. The sport is tainted.

I've always loved the former advertisement "Better life through chemistry." Heck I believe it. Still this isn't what I meant. I wanted improvements that made the average life better, the people struggling better. The unhealthy better. Not the top 200 of a sport in the world that much or superhumanly better. Cheaters that will spend more time conspiring how not to get caught than on training. I like Eddy Merckx's answer to the question much better, the now famous, "Just ride."

Napping gets you no where

I should know better than to nap. I took a vacation day to do some housework (ha!) and to work on cleaning my car. Got it done, but then, mid day I was tired and took a nap. Now its like 2 am and can I sleep? No, of course not.

So there are two movies I am looking forward to. First is I think called Remote Control and is about those fun loving guys Joy Division and of course especially Ian Curtis. I've been connected to them via their MySpace page and they've been sending out alerts about it all the time. Pretty interesting stuff and I can't wait to see it. Only thing I've really read on them is the last Mojo that had them on the cover and the article about them. I think it was connected with the starting of shooting for the movie. Recently there was some sort of falling out between the boys of New Order where one of them stated it was over and then later the other two came out and said "um, well he can leave if he likes, but we're considering just going on without him. So I don't know a lot about them and think the movie will be good fun since I won't be all critical about it being accurate and junk. Its supposed to be entertainment anyway.

The second movie is about Joe Strummer of the Clash, the 101ers and the Mescaleros. The title of the movie is The Future is Unwritten. The Clash and John Graham Mellor I know a bit more about. I've read at least one biography of the band, called The Clash: The Only Band That Matters (I think). They are a band I enjoyed, but not as much after reading the book. Joe was a bit of a calculating son of a gun. Although I had known he was the son of a diplomat, I didn't know he had a folk stage where he insisted people call him "Woody". Then again, I enjoyed him. I thought his last recording with the Mescaleros was great, showed he was getting back into the groove. I was sad when he died and I was hoping to hear more new recordings by him, but and so it goes.

Ah, the Bleriot? On hold. Too much work. Too much other things like getting ready t o head out of town. Just haven't been up to it some how. It depresses me further how lazy I get. Yet the car is cleaned and waxed end to end and ready to head out of town in the morning. I'm looking forward to some fun with my youngest, Thing 3. No, he's not a thing, I love him a great deal, I just don't give his name out and its easy for others to remember eldest is 1 youngest is 3. Hoping to spend some time with 1 and 2 as well.

There was a third topic I had on the tip of my tongue er fingertips, but it flew away. Later I guess.

One Hundred Percent

Here is a test created by GMAC. Apparently only 1 out of 10 American drivers can achieve 70% or better.

As Dave Barry says, "Every US driver thinks they are 'above average' and that everyone else is an idiot."

I tend to think most cyclist are better than average because they are at the mercy of those stupid cagers. How'd you score?

I'm proud to say I got 100%, so for once I can say I'm above average. Does this mean if I know 9 other people, none of them can score 70% or better. Man, I hope not.

Suck it up Blog Boy

So in an earlier post I whined about being a cheapskate and getting what I paid for. I'd bought a gNashbar hub and dang if it didn't break after thousands of miles. Yet it broke under legitimate use, not abuse, and I'd never broken a spoke or had a bearing fail on that wheel so it clearly was in pretty good shape.

Last night I took a fling and wrote NB an email describing my plight. No nasty or foul language. I got a pretty fast response. Please send a few photos if you could, please make them an attachment so it can be virus scanned separately. Seems all reasonable. I sent those from my Picasa page. I'd sent the link, but they assured me they couldn't "surf" anywhere while at work. Yikes!

Next message was a little more annoying. Please send in the wheel.

I wrote back and said the whole stinking wheel? I explained my objection. First the shell is built into a almost functional wheel. The shipping cost is not trivial.

Then I really launched. I informed them that my day job is to analyze items for root cause and failure analysis. Which is the truth. I have connections with material analysis labs and that the axle is in fact with them at the moment as they were going to study it using x-ray, crystallography, and SEM to determine cause of failure. I didn't tell them they wanted to do this for a class this summer being taught to High School seniors who might like to see failures that fit more into real life rather than the crazy things we make at the business which are pretty dull to the average person.

They replied that they would like to know how I used the wheel and do I remember when I ordered it?

I actually found the shipping paperwork. No kidding. So I sent a very long note pointing out I bought four copies of the hub, two in red and two in black. I gave them part numbers, order numbers, customer numbers and even rack, shelf and bin numbers. It showed I'd bought the hub in March 2001 which is the spring I sprung for the Atlantis frame from Sarah Gibson's shop (Acme?) in Kansas. I had the wheel built by Sunset Cycle in Circle Pines, which is a neighbor town of Lino Lakes where I lived then. They built several wheels for me and they all were very good. I'd recommend them to anyone as wheel builders. Last I explained in lengthy details how many miles that the bike has been estimated the touring versus commuting miles and sent photographs of it packed and ready to roll for both applications.

Damn, I can be thorough and organized when I want to be an ass.

The wrote back, they'll let me know on Monday if they can provide me with a replacement axle or any compensation. The delay is because they aren't sure they have any axles. And they have to discuss what they will offer as replacement because that model has been discontinued. Duh, that is why they were selling it for $29.95, which is what I paid for it. It pays to have data, experience, knowledge, ability, and especially for once the ability to keep a civil finger on the keyboard. I can get annoyed with email pretty quickly. I truly think they saw me as some crank at first and once I sent both photos and the order information, they were better believers.

I'll believe it when I see it, but still at least it seems like they are thinking about standing behind their product. I'm not asking for more. I wasn't injured. It didn't strand me out in Ontario. I have another bike I can ride at the moment. So, no more griping about NB for the moment. Even I can be momentarily humble.

You Think!

So, when an acquaintance tells you that helmets wouldn't have made a difference in a crash, tell them about this guy.


Then kindly tell them they are full of dung and a moron to boot.

Is It Warm Enough For You, Now?

Well, I had a great rant regarding Jerry Falwell. I believe he's not enjoying his eternal life in hell. I believe he has gone there for his inability to forgive, to see himself as the judge of mankind and he found them wanting. Instead of encouraging their actions to improve, he deplored those who had. So ye reap what you sow, Jerry. Condemnation is a bitch. I can forgive you, but its too late for you.

Somewhere while typing it, I stopped to think and meandered away to look at a web site on what else, bike parts. Through no fault of the website, my browser locked up. I can't explain it, I can't seem to prevent it, because I don't know what exactly I do to make the situation occur. I can tell when it has happened because my cursor takes on a new appearance. And I can't use Alt-Tab to cycle through programs. At best, I can use Task Master to just kill my browser window. Worst case, like this, I have to restart. Dumbass. I should know better and type my rants into Word Imperfect (take that Microshaft) and then copy and paste it into the Dashboard.

Its gone and I'm not one to try to recreate it. I also wrote about Wolfdownadick and his inability to see how his nepotism wasn't more than poor judgment, it was evidence of poor leadership. I wonder does his girl friend now wear a tee-shirt that says, "I dated a dick head and all I got was an undeserved promotion and a ginormous quarter million dollar undeserved raise"? Do you think I could quit my job and make enough selling them to go cross country on my bicycle? I didn't either, but I thought I'd ask.

That rant flowed into one more about our AG, the new and improved "G" man. How the man is upholding the law, right law. Thanks a lot and say "Hi" to Jerry when you die.

Last I wrote a long bit about the new "War Czar" and how many other folks, like retired four star generals turned this "opportunity" down. So this three star general was hungry enough or stupid enough, you pick, took the position. I think this is his punishment. Back some four years ago, he was publicly advocating that we force the Iraq army and police to step up and take responsibility. He was then for pulling our troops out. His aim, don't let them get used to our support, the faster they stand on their own, the better.

Now the rationale in the Rove-Cheney-Shrub tricycle is that this dude will cut through the bureaucracy. Sure he will, when the generals in command outrank him. Right. I painted a tale from a joke where US corporation holds a rowing race against our Asian counterparts. We lose, so we add managers to the staff thereby making the boat heavier and slower not faster. The Asians just keep on training looking to get better, incremental improvements. We keep adding management and oversight and losing by more even though eventually we invest huge amounts of money into technology that does little to reduce the management impact. And so it goes.

That is what I see this War Czar as. It isn't moving to the pace the public thinks it will and the best things the Shrub can think of is, add troops and add a layer of management. What a fucktard.

If you want to see a few photos of the axle that busted, they are in the bike building folder at my Picasa website. There are more photos under the Bleriot folder too. Last there is the ubiquitous photo of Ray riding the Segway, as well as photos of two others trying them out and a lot of other photos from the Hiawatha Cyclery rides. Under Hiawatha Cyclery Rides, what else?

You Get What You Pay For

So, I made progress on the Bleriot, but not enough to ride it. I've got to get the handlebars taped and I can't seem to get the diamond pattern using two colors of tape right. I got pretty frustrated working on it Sunday. Spent some time last night looking for instructions on the web and got an idea or two. Tonight it went better.

Rode the Quickbeam today and boy did that stink. I used the messenger bag and yeow it was so hot on the way home. Okay it wasn't all that cool on the way to work either. I've got to figure something better for tomorrow. You'll see why I have no alternative. This time of year, I'd ride the Atlantis and use the small front panniers. Except the Atlantis has had an odd problem.

The problem is that it seemed like the cassette freehub was stuck. Or sticking. Or something. If I coasted, the freehub and cassette would continue to turn with the wheel. This caused excess chain to collect on the chain stay between the crank and the axle. Followed by a immediate slip into the smallest cog.

So I guessed it was due to the freehub needing some lubrication and I thought a little Phil Wood oil or maybe Mobil 1 I use in the Elephant might do the trick. I thought that wouldn't take too much. Put the Atlantis in the spare stand and went for it. Pulled the rear wheel and pulled off the cassette. I was even pleased that I found the Hyperglide cassette tool without a week long search or buying a new one.

When I looked at the hub, I was shocked. the freehub was stuck to the cassette. I tapped the cassette on the workbench and the freehub fell out, followed by falling apart. I'd busted the axle. This is where the subject comes from.

Years ago, Gnashbar had these hubs for really bargain prices. I don't remember at the moment but lets say, $30 for a cartridge bearing hub. Huh? Yes. No maintenance. Music to my ear, especially the cheap part. I bought several and had a rear wheel built in preparation of the Atlantis. I've been using it since I got the frame set. This is way back when I was married and the ex wasn't too pleased at an even more expensive bike. So I got a cheaper wheel to compensate. Now, I'm not saying its her fault at all, it was still my choice and decision.

Now I know why those hubs were cheap. I'll have to clean some of the goo and dirt off and take a few photos to show the cheap material and construction. I believe the wheel is toast. Oh, I suppose I could respoke a new hub in, or something, but I'm not sure what direction I'll go yet. I'm leaning toward a real bullet proof hub (Chris King or Phil Wood) but that's some savings away. Now the pressure is on to get the Bleriot running so I can work on the Atlantis. Its always something.

Much Progress

I suppose I'm going to take a lot more crap from Kevin now. I spent the day waxing the Bleriot frame some more.
No, I didn't. I've agreed to lend the Elephant for the week and part of the deal was taking the rear seats out. Since I haven't really cleaned it thoroughly since I got it, that too was due. Plus, yesterday I did an oil change. Monday I'm going to swing by Brookdale Honda and get a new engine air filter. Today I got the rubber mats out, scrubbed the beejeebers out of them, vacuumed the interior, cleaned all the surfaces with warm soapy water, washed the windows on the inside. Tomorrow early (I hope) I'll clean the interior with an automotive cleaner and apply Armor All or some other shiny protectant.
I did the Hiawatha ride and had loads of fun, there was a lot of people and several I hadn't met. Some of the guys brought their wives which is always great, because any unattached gals don't feel so self conscience. That's what I like about it, the social and casualness of the ride. Making people feel comfortable. I've made it a resolution to be more like Ray and introduce myself to people and tell them who I am, but no, not point them here. I think most think my noodling are pretty boring. And its okay. I'm sure someone somewhere else is writing about Paris Hilton right now.
I did get some things done on the Bleriot. Both derailer are installed. The rear is a Suntour but I don't remember the model other than its a nice condition long cage which should friction shift fine. The front is another one from my XT stash. I tried to install the saddle bag support rear rack, but ran into a problem, I think. It would appear from my estimate that I need longer rods for the support. Plus I've got it in the rack right now by the saddle post, so I can't attach it there to make sure. It can wait. I installed both pedals. They are MKS Sylvan track pedals with Soma dual loop clips and some random straps from my stash with buckle pads. I didn't find any buttons yet. My organization sucks. Those were the easy things I did to take breaks from the tedious bar taping.
I first used some cheap (Gnashbar or some other clearance for like $3) bar tape. Its hideous purple with like green flecks. I'm serious, its so awful its no wonder they had boxes of the shit laying around. I first wrap the bars with this for padding to reduce the pounding on my crappy Carpel tunnel inflicted hands. Then I used yellow and blue cotton take to being the diamond wrap padding. I did remember to mount the brake levers first and it took a month of Sundays to get them the right height and level. Man, being a perfectionist about dumb things just sucks gigantic gobs of time. The hideous tape is completely installed. I'm about a quarter of the way (about half way on one side) with the final cotton. I'm fine on the straights, its that dang curve that I'm befuddled by. Stupid brain, be more cooperative!
Funny for the day. I like to say hello to fellow cyclists and pedestrians when I'm out, especially early and its nice out. Sometimes they are the "training" style of cyclist that appear never to be having fun, head down, in the drops, concentrating on their cadence, thinking about the perfect time to drink, or sneak a packet of Gu so they can fling it on the ground without being observed. I know there are lots of good shops, but my perverse love of the Simpsons makes me want to should at everyone wearing the least bit of kit from the Flanders shop in particular. I do know they are a great shop. But I just want to yell at them in honor of "Spanish Flanders" from the one episode of show and he says hello, "Hi doodelie ding day doodilie".

There Is?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 1 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Yuck!

Work has been so busy I've not got to work on the Bleriot since I brought it home and waxed it. Grrr. I did get a chance to upload and caption the rest of the first batch of photos. They can be seen here. Don't say I didn't warn you, bike build photography can be addictive, you'll want your own project if you look too hard.

Felt really slow today cycling to work. Didn't check the odometer to see if I really was or not. Like I care.

Got to see R.T. Rybeck near work today. There is an old rail spur that has been without ties or rails for years. It will stretch from the U of Minnesota, across 35W and into Roseville somewhere. This was just the ribbon cutting ceremony. My company by agreement provided parking for the dignitaries. And the press, and several city employees to stand in as, well, stand arounds with shovels? Ask Ray, he knows what I'm talking about. If only it was available when I commuted from Lino Lakes. Still it is cool and Minneapolis rocks for at least trying.

A pal that works near me and also cycles bunches came to the ceremony with me. His name is Pete and I don't think he has a blog. We chatted about how we rarely use trails, and take our chances with traffic. The problem with trails is it always seems to reinforce the bike as a toy that doesn't belong on the roadway. We talked about how we should be involved with the cycling advocacy group, but that we might go insane trying to reason with the non-cyclist that tend to prefer such trails for grannies and mommies and their strollers. Which is why I don't use them in part. Still at least we're trying.