Friday, May 18, 2007

Suck it up Blog Boy

So in an earlier post I whined about being a cheapskate and getting what I paid for. I'd bought a gNashbar hub and dang if it didn't break after thousands of miles. Yet it broke under legitimate use, not abuse, and I'd never broken a spoke or had a bearing fail on that wheel so it clearly was in pretty good shape.

Last night
I took a fling and wrote NB an email describing my plight. No nasty or foul language. I got a pretty fast response. Please send a few photos if you could, please make them an attachment so it can be virus scanned separately. Seems all reasonable. I sent those from my Picasa page. I'd sent the link, but they assured me they couldn't "surf" anywhere while at work. Yikes!

Next message was a little more annoying. Please send in the wheel.

I wrote back and said the whole stinking wheel? I explained my objection. First the shell is built into a almost functional wheel. The shipping cost is not trivial.

Then I really launched. I informed them that my day job is to analyze items for root cause and failure analysis. Which is the truth. I have connections with material analysis labs and that the axle is in fact with them at the moment as they were going to study it using x-ray, crystallography, and SEM to determine cause of failure. I didn't tell them they wanted to do this for a class this summer being taught to High School seniors who might like to see failures that fit more into real life rather than the crazy things we make at the business which are pretty dull to the average person.


They replied that they would like to know how I used the wheel and do I remember when I ordered it?

I actually found the shipping paperwork. No kidding. So I sent a very long note pointing out I bought four copies of the hub, two in red and two in black. I gave them part numbers, order numbers, customer numbers and even rack, shelf and bin numbers. It showed I'd bought the hub in March 2001 which is the spring I sprung for the Atlantis frame from Sarah Gibson's shop (Acme?) in Kansas. I had the wheel built by Sunset Cycle in Circle Pines, which is a neighbor town of Lino Lakes where I lived then. They built several wheels for me and they all were very good. I'd recommend them to anyone as wheel builders. Last I explained in lengthy details how many miles that the bike has been estimated the touring versus commuting miles and sent photographs of it packed and ready to roll for both applications.

Damn, I can be thorough and organized when I want to be an ass.

The wrote back, they'll let me know on Monday if they can provide me with a replacement axle or any compensation. The delay is because they aren't sure they have any axles. And they have to discuss what they will offer as replacement because that model has been discontinued. Duh, that is why they were selling it for $29.95, which is what I paid for it. It pays to have data, experience, knowledge, ability, and especially for once the ability to keep a civil finger on the keyboard. I can get annoyed with email pretty quickly. I truly think they saw me as some crank at first and once I sent both photos and the order information, they were better believers.

I'll believe it when I see it, but still at least it seems like they are thinking about standing behind their product. I'm not asking for more. I wasn't injured. It didn't strand me out in Ontario. I have another bike I can ride at the moment. So, no more griping about NB for the moment. Even I can be momentarily humble.

You Think!

So, when an acquaintance tells you that helmets wouldn't have made a difference in a crash, tell them about this guy.


Then kindly tell them they are full of dung and a moron to boot.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Is It Warm Enough For You, Now?

Well, I had a great rant regarding Jerry Falwell. I believe he's not enjoying his eternal life in hell. I believe he has gone there for his inability to forgive, to see himself as the judge of mankind and he found them wanting. Instead of encouraging their actions to improve, he deplored those who had. So ye reap what you sow, Jerry. Condemnation is a bitch. I can forgive you, but its too late for you.

Somewhere while typing it, I stopped to think and meandered away to look at a web site on what else, bike parts. Through no fault of the website, my browser locked up. I can't explain it, I can't seem to prevent it, because I don't know what exactly I do to make the situation occur. I can tell when it has happened because my cursor takes on a new appearance. And I can't use Alt-Tab to cycle through programs. At best, I can use Task Master to just kill my browser window. Worst case, like this, I have to restart. Dumbass. I should know better and type my rants into Word Imperfect (take that Microshaft) and then copy and paste it into the Dashboard.

Its gone and I'm not one to try to recreate it. I also wrote about Wolfdownadick and his inability to see how his nepotism wasn't more than poor judgment, it was evidence of poor leadership. I wonder does his girl friend now wear a tee-shirt that says, "I dated a dick head and all I got was an undeserved promotion and a ginormous quarter million dollar undeserved raise"? Do you think I could quit my job and make enough selling them to go cross country on my bicycle? I didn't either, but I thought I'd ask.

That rant flowed into one more about our AG, the new and improved "G" man. How the man is upholding the law, right law. Thanks a lot and say "Hi" to Jerry when you die.

Last I wrote a long bit about the new "War Czar" and how many other folks, like retired four star generals turned this "opportunity" down. So this three star general was hungry enough or stupid enough, you pick, took the position. I think this is his punishment. Back some four years ago, he was publicly advocating that we force the Iraq army and police to step up and take responsibility. He was then for pulling our troops out. His aim, don't let them get used to our support, the faster they stand on their own, the better.

Now the rationale in the Rove-Cheney-Shrub tricycle is that this dude will cut through the bureaucracy. Sure he will, when the generals in command outrank him. Right. I painted a tale from a joke where US corporation holds a rowing race against our Asian counterparts. We lose, so we add managers to the staff thereby making the boat heavier and slower not faster. The Asians just keep on training looking to get better, incremental improvements. We keep adding management and oversight and losing by more even though eventually we invest huge amounts of money into technology that does little to reduce the management impact. And so it goes.

That is what I see this War Czar as. It isn't moving to the pace the public thinks it will and the best things the Shrub can think of is, add troops and add a layer of management. What a fucktard.

If you want to see a few photos of the axle that busted, they are in the bike building folder at my Picasa website. There are more photos under the Bleriot folder too. Last there is the ubiquitous photo of Ray riding the Segway, as well as photos of two others trying them out and a lot of other photos from the Hiawatha Cyclery rides. Under Hiawatha Cyclery Rides, what else?

Monday, May 14, 2007

You Get What You Pay For

So, I made progress on the Bleriot, but not enough to ride it. I've got to get the handlebars taped and I can't seem to get the diamond pattern using two colors of tape right. I got pretty frustrated working on it Sunday. Spent some time last night looking for instructions on the web and got an idea or two. Tonight it went better.

Rode the Quickbeam today and boy did that stink. I used the messenger bag and yeow it was so hot on the way home. Okay it wasn't all that cool on the way to work either. I've got to figure something better for tomorrow. You'll see why I have no alternative. This time of year, I'd ride the Atlantis and use the small front panniers. Except the Atlantis has had an odd problem.

The problem is that it seemed like the cassette freehub was stuck. Or sticking. Or something. If I coasted, the freehub and cassette would continue to turn with the wheel. This caused excess chain to collect on the chain stay between the crank and the axle. Followed by a immediate slip into the smallest cog.

So I guessed it was due to the freehub needing some lubrication and I thought a little Phil Wood oil or maybe Mobil 1 I use in the Elephant might do the trick. I thought that wouldn't take too much. Put the Atlantis in the spare stand and went for it. Pulled the rear wheel and pulled off the cassette. I was even pleased that I found the Hyperglide cassette tool without a week long search or buying a new one.

When I looked at the hub, I was shocked. the freehub was stuck to the cassette. I tapped the cassette on the workbench and the freehub fell out, followed by falling apart. I'd busted the axle. This is where the subject comes from.

Years ago, Gnashbar had these hubs for really bargain prices. I don't remember at the moment but lets say, $30 for a cartridge bearing hub. Huh? Yes. No maintenance. Music to my ear, especially the cheap part. I bought several and had a rear wheel built in preparation of the Atlantis. I've been using it since I got the frame set. This is way back when I was married and the ex wasn't too pleased at an even more expensive bike. So I got a cheaper wheel to compensate. Now, I'm not saying its her fault at all, it was still my choice and decision.

Now I know why those hubs were cheap. I'll have to clean some of the goo and dirt off and take a few photos to show the cheap material and construction. I believe the wheel is toast. Oh, I suppose I could respoke a new hub in, or something, but I'm not sure what direction I'll go yet. I'm leaning toward a real bullet proof hub (Chris King or Phil Wood) but that's some savings away. Now the pressure is on to get the Bleriot running so I can work on the Atlantis. Its always something.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Much Progress

I suppose I'm going to take a lot more crap from Kevin now. I spent the day waxing the Bleriot frame some more.
No, I didn't. I've agreed to lend the Elephant for the week and part of the deal was taking the rear seats out. Since I haven't really cleaned it thoroughly since I got it, that too was due. Plus, yesterday I did an oil change. Monday I'm going to swing by Brookdale Honda and get a new engine air filter. Today I got the rubber mats out, scrubbed the beejeebers out of them, vacuumed the interior, cleaned all the surfaces with warm soapy water, washed the windows on the inside. Tomorrow early (I hope) I'll clean the interior with an automotive cleaner and apply Armor All or some other shiny protectant.
I did the Hiawatha ride and had loads of fun, there was a lot of people and several I hadn't met. Some of the guys brought their wives which is always great, because any unattached gals don't feel so self conscience. That's what I like about it, the social and casualness of the ride. Making people feel comfortable. I've made it a resolution to be more like Ray and introduce myself to people and tell them who I am, but no, not point them here. I think most think my noodling are pretty boring. And its okay. I'm sure someone somewhere else is writing about Paris Hilton right now.
I did get some things done on the Bleriot. Both derailer are installed. The rear is a Suntour but I don't remember the model other than its a nice condition long cage which should friction shift fine. The front is another one from my XT stash. I tried to install the saddle bag support rear rack, but ran into a problem, I think. It would appear from my estimate that I need longer rods for the support. Plus I've got it in the rack right now by the saddle post, so I can't attach it there to make sure. It can wait. I installed both pedals. They are MKS Sylvan track pedals with Soma dual loop clips and some random straps from my stash with buckle pads. I didn't find any buttons yet. My organization sucks. Those were the easy things I did to take breaks from the tedious bar taping.
I first used some cheap (Gnashbar or some other clearance for like $3) bar tape. Its hideous purple with like green flecks. I'm serious, its so awful its no wonder they had boxes of the shit laying around. I first wrap the bars with this for padding to reduce the pounding on my crappy Carpel tunnel inflicted hands. Then I used yellow and blue cotton take to being the diamond wrap padding. I did remember to mount the brake levers first and it took a month of Sundays to get them the right height and level. Man, being a perfectionist about dumb things just sucks gigantic gobs of time. The hideous tape is completely installed. I'm about a quarter of the way (about half way on one side) with the final cotton. I'm fine on the straights, its that dang curve that I'm befuddled by. Stupid brain, be more cooperative!
Funny for the day. I like to say hello to fellow cyclists and pedestrians when I'm out, especially early and its nice out. Sometimes they are the "training" style of cyclist that appear never to be having fun, head down, in the drops, concentrating on their cadence, thinking about the perfect time to drink, or sneak a packet of Gu so they can fling it on the ground without being observed. I know there are lots of good shops, but my perverse love of the Simpsons makes me want to should at everyone wearing the least bit of kit from the Flanders shop in particular. I do know they are a great shop. But I just want to yell at them in honor of "Spanish Flanders" from the one episode of show and he says hello, "Hi doodelie ding day doodilie".

Friday, May 11, 2007

There Is?


HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere are
1
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Yuck!

Work has been so busy I've not got to work on the Bleriot since I brought it home and waxed it. Grrr. I did get a chance to upload and caption the rest of the first batch of photos. They can be seen here. Don't say I didn't warn you, bike build photography can be addictive, you'll want your own project if you look too hard.

Felt really slow today cycling to work. Didn't check the odometer to see if I really was or not. Like I care.

Got to see R.T. Rybeck near work today. There is an old rail spur that has been without ties or rails for years. It will stretch from the U of Minnesota, across 35W and into Roseville somewhere. This was just the ribbon cutting ceremony. My company by agreement provided parking for the dignitaries. And the press, and several city employees to stand in as, well, stand arounds with shovels? Ask Ray, he knows what I'm talking about. If only it was available when I commuted from Lino Lakes. Still it is cool and Minneapolis rocks for at least trying.

A pal that works near me and also cycles bunches came to the ceremony with me. His name is Pete and I don't think he has a blog. We chatted about how we rarely use trails, and take our chances with traffic. The problem with trails is it always seems to reinforce the bike as a toy that doesn't belong on the roadway. We talked about how we should be involved with the cycling advocacy group, but that we might go insane trying to reason with the non-cyclist that tend to prefer such trails for grannies and mommies and their strollers. Which is why I don't use them in part. Still at least we're trying.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Bummer for the Day

I received my High School Reunion invitation today.

For my 30th reunion. Good grief. Was it really that long ago? 1977 doesn't feel like thirty years ago. I can remember what I did. Immediately after my graduation on a Friday night, I left town. No joke. I had a bag packed, took a few smiling photos and got the hell out of dodge. I think I came back the next Tuesday because I started work for the Forest Service that summer.

Monday, May 07, 2007

The New Project

I brought home a partial bike, a project I call it. No, not some decrepit used thing of filth to be shined up in honor. No, I did it the Gordy way and brought home a shiny new frame and bits so I can muck it up and scratch the blazes out of it and get angry and fling Allen wrenches at it. Okay, not the last bit.

Its a Bleriot. A frame designed by Rivendell and distributed through QBP of Bloomington. I bought mine from Jim at Hiawatha. Its a long sad story of me taking too long to pay for it and junk. I won't bore you with details, but I'd like to say its testament that Jim has gre
at patience for jerks like me. Huge thanks to the folks at Hiawatha!

Here's the dope before I give you porn to have your way with. Its a 57 cm frame. Ultegra headset, Nitto Technomic stem, Nitto Noodle 48 cm wide handlebars, Nitto Jaguar saddle post, Phil bottom bracket with a Sugino 600 (?) all aluminum ring crank at 172.5, rear wheel is a Phil freewheel
hub, with a 7-speed IRD freewheel 13-32, a Sachs 8 speed chain, a Schmidt SON front hub, both rims are sweet Synergy with the rear a asymmetric so it is dishless, and finally Berthoud fenders. I added (and they installed) a pair of Nifty Swifty tires with the Speed Blend sidewall. They are so cool!

All I did tonight was take photos, and wax the frame. Okay and put Smithchrome on the fenders. See, I told you I'd muck it up!



Sunday, May 06, 2007

This and That

Didn't make the weekly ride with the Hiawatha folks. Missed it as I was helping around the town home association. It was our annual clean up day. I spent about six hours using a high pressure sprayer to clean the dust and grime off the building siding. They look quite a bit better when its all said and done. I was quite surprised. We rented a pressure washer, but it was pretty weak, so I just used a high pressure nozzle on a standard hose that was able to shoot a narrow (quarter inch or so?) stream of water to near the top of the building. Other folks took out any crummy shrubbery and planted some new plants and such around the entrance sign. I'm not sure why, but they left sort of a skeleton of the tree in the front. I'm thinking a rental chain saw would make short work of it.

Twins lost today, although it started bad, they made a game of it. Hitting is still anemic. Pitching isn't too hot either. Sure don't expect them to pull the award winning run they did last year. They have to be in contention the normal way or they'll finish out of the running.

Bought a Brita water cooler. Its like your regular water cooler except all the water is run through a pair of Brita filters. Yields cold
good tasting water. Then last winter it began leaking. Have been trying to figure out what the blazes is wrong with the thing. Turns out it isn't leaking. It's over flowing. The water container you fill with tap water, then flip over and put on top of the thing leaks somewhere on the bottom. This allows the water to free flow and overflow a reservoir. You'd think a chemical engineer could figure that out faster. I've got to go somewhere that has a air compressor to find the leak. The water leaks out too slowly to find it. I think I'll have to pressurizes it and dip it in a tub of water to see bubbles. I own a compressor, but its at the exes. Maybe someday.

Came across this in the New York Times. Its not going to be available to read after the 9th or so, so try to read it quick. Its about an apparent bill the Shrub has submitted to congress. He wants expanded wire tapping and spying tactics so he "can catch the bad guys." Gee, we've heard that the FBI or CIA or whomever abused the current law and spied on folks that really had done anything wrong. I sure hope this doesn't make it past congress in some fit of fear mongering the GOP is so good at. They can't catch Bin Laden, and they sure didn't catch anyone before or after the 9/11 attack. Now I know there hasn't been any attacks, but what I don't see are anything high profile which suggests to me, there aren't any or they didn't catch them anyway.

Here is the dilemma in my mind. A free society is supposed to be free to both sides. For example, we encourage or at the very minimum don't discourage the marches and such of the followers of Martin Luther King. Likewise, even the marches that are onerous must be permitted in a free society. For example the skin heads and the KKK. Foul? Absolutely. And hopefully the majority will see them for the dunder headed ridiculous people they are. Marginal groups will always attract followers. The lesson we should learn from Hitler for example is that if you make the lowest class so dissatisfied that they have nothing to lose and everything to gain from rebellion; you create a group that might overtake the society in a ruthless way with awful consequences.

So if we are free to speak and protest, then at some level we have to expect and predict that some of those marginal folks are going to acquire a firearm and shoot up the place like this poor student in Virginia. I don't condone what he did. I wish we had more firearm laws. I wish the ones we had were better utilized. Virginia is so afraid of any limitations on obtaining firearms that they don't participate in a national database of people of concern. So even though the lad was thought to be unfitting to be a firearms owner, their system didn't prevent him from buying, training to shoot, and then carrying out his apparent plan. Like a fellow that was involuntarily committed to a mental program because he was thought to be a danger to others or himself.

Do I think Virginia deserved this? Not at all. The point is we can't have it all. If we allow and encourage everyone to conceal and carry, we'll have the old west and be far closer to anarchy. Innocent people will die in places other than gang and drug traffic areas.

Likewise if we choose to have freedom, we have to expect those that dislike us to abuse our own freedoms and hijack a plane and crash it into a building; passengers and all. Sure there were laws against foreigners doing some of the things they did, but they also were crafty. They studied. They observed. They learned and used our freedom against us. The question to ask is why didn't they apply that perseverance and hard work toward benefit of themselves? Could they have owned a successful business? I think so. If they'd taken the cash and worked as a group who knows what they could have done in a legitimate proposition. Its exactly what my ancestors from Finland did. They came to America for opportunities that simply weren't available there. Spectacular success, no, but their contribution to this country has been a heritage of contributors to society. In general hard working, honest, citizens that participate in the society as intended.

So why did the young men pursue the method of attack they did? What lead them there? I don't know. I know only what I read in the media. That some sects of the Muslim religion see us as the great White Devil. Well, when you are the big kahhuna, you do expect the people that want to get on top to take a shot or two at you. The rhetoric in the middle east against the US and some other "Christian" nations has been strident for a long time. Surely more than two decades when the "students" overtook the US embassy in Iran and held the personnel hostage. It was one of the contributions to the single term for Jimmy Carter. Somehow I have to believe we aren't doing ourselves any favors in the middle east. And haven't done for a long time.

By that do I mean cease supporting Israel? Surely not. We could support the Palestinians better though. I don't sense we do anything for them. They in some areas are squarely under the thumb of Israel. We fought 200+ years ago for independence, we supposedly are bringing democracy to Iraq (that's a joke son) and we should be arguing more for them with Israel. Are we creating our worst hardened enemies by keeping them so poor and dissatisfied that we created in effect the same as Hitler and the brown shirts that pursued the Jewish as the fault of all their problems. Only this time it isn't the Jews, its the Christians. We're no more to blame than or now.

So the Dems finally get going and tack on a few limitations to the spending bill. When was it that the GOP said, "Hey just don't complain about the war, tell us a better plan." So the Dems do, and the stubborn Shrub vetoes it with the same old rhetoric, "cut and run" and "abandoning our troops", and "politicians advising the military." Wait, just who is "the decider"? Well the Shrub thinks it is him, but I agree with the late Molly Ivins, its us. The voters. And that we should be discussing and telling our congresspeople what we think of the "Commander in Chief" or the "the decider". He sure doesn't seem to be listening from the previous election.

I just can't believe the man can't see how we're fucked. If we stay in Iraq, we only bring more chaos. We're providing the best recruiting poster for the insurgents. Bombing and attacks continue to escalate. What was that you dick (meaning Cheney), "this is just the last throes of a dying insurgency." I'll never figure out how that man sleeps at night. Oh, yeah, with Fox news playing in the background. If we leave Iraq, it will descend into chaos just like South Vietnam did when we left.

The politics of Iraq is something we don't understand. Its foreign to us. The same goes for Afghanistan. They have to settle it for themselves. It won't be any prettier than our own Revolution or the Civil War, or as some moron southerners would have you believe, "The Insurrection from the North." Sore losers. Can we prevent what will happen in Iraq? I don't see how. We depend upon technology and they depend upon the will to fight for what they see as the land they rightly own. We simply can't match that passion and that willingness to go to any lengths.

In Vietnam, it was a terribly corrupt government that the public wouldn't support. There never was stability there either. The Northerners simply had more passion for reuniting with their countrymen. There was ugly slaughter after our military left. We lost the war. We treated our returning troops terribly. It was never their fault. They were never equipped to fight that kind of war and all the bombs and agent orange and napalm didn't mean a thing.

Now I read in the NYT that less than 50% would tell on their fellow soldiers or marines if they saw them abuse the POWs. Part of the Geneva Convention was based on mutual treatment. Just why shouldn't we expect them to behead people on video tape when we have secret prisions, hold people without habius corpus and all the other lawbreaking that our "decider" has done. I just would love to see him brought to war crimes trial for what he has done. See I don't blame the troops for feeling the way they do. They are in a war they are ill equipped for. It hurts them to see what has transpired. The innocent that are killed with suicide bombers. I always believe that it starts at the top somewhere that influences how the soldier behaves. Shrub is a ruthless, stubborn lawbreaking President with no precedence since Nixon and he still believes history will see him as a hero.

Nixon did too until caught at Watergate. He didn't want to get out of Vietnam. He was pushed. Sure he crushed McGovern in the election, but McGovern and the congress tied up the funding for the war that was never a war. They asked for a timetable? I'm serious, if you go listen to the passionate speech made by McGovern on the Senate floor, you just might cry. Essentially he said the blood of every dead US soldier was on the hands of every congressman who continued to support that war with no end in sight. That it was frightfully easy to wrap yourself in the flag when it wasn't you that might die, when it wasn't your children that might die, then you had to rethink your position in another way. That to let it continued unchecked was egregious. And he was right, but it doesn't seem to be what he'll remembered for. For getting his head handed to him in the '72 election by a crooked president that was so paranoid that he spied on his opponent's campaign election committee. When he didn't need the leverage. And likewise the Shrub doesn't need to steal any more of our freedoms to continue to fight this war on terrorism. He's just greedy and paranoid.

Heard Richard Thompson was coming to town. This time with a band, and the photo shows him holding an electric guitar. I've seen him live at least three times, but always performing alone, just RT and a guitar. Really excited to see him with a band. If you are a music head at all, then you know of Richard from his Fairport Convention work, or possibly his recordings with his former wife, Linda Thompson. Maybe you knew Teddy Thompson was their son. If nothing else, everyone should own the recording, Shoot Out The Lights. Although both parties deny it, it was recording during the period of the disintegration of their marriage. To me it is haunting. To someone going through a divorce it either might hit too close to home, or make you scream the lyrics out loud. A pal has ordered tickets and I'm really looking forward to this show.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Bumper Stickers for Today

Like many of you, I get humor sent to me from friends and relatives. Most I've told that its cool, go ahead and send. Even when I know they are conservative as hell and I couldn't find common ground if it was still raining on the 39th day, Noah was in his ark and the two of us were standing on the last patch of dry land. Sometimes they do manage to send me something somewhat fresh and even funny. I don't know why some of these struck me as so funny, but they did. Hope you enjoy a few too.

1. Bush: End of an Error

2. That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

3. Let's Fix Democracy in this Country First

4. If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

5. Bush. Like a Rock - Only Dumber.

6. If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President

7. Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant

8. Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

9. George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

10. Impeachment: It's Not Just for B**w Jobs Anymore

11. America: One Nation, Under Surveillance

12. They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It

13. Jail to the Chief

14. No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq ?

15. Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full of Crap

16. Bad President! No Banana.

17. We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language

18. We're making Enemies Faster than We Can Kill Them

19. Is It Vietnam Yet?

20. Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either

21. Where Are We Going? And Why Are We in This Hand basket?

22. You elected him. You Deserve Him.

23. Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too

24. When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46

25. The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

26. One Nation under Clod

27. At Least Nixon Resigned

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A Great Quote


A great quote, that comes by way of the New York Times, as said by David Halberstam, who died recently at 73 in an auto accident in California while on his way to interview Y. A. Tittle. Tittle was the New York Giant quarterback in 1948 for what is considered one of the greatest football games ever.

In a recent interview Mr. Halberstam offered his approach to work by quoting one of my favorite players from my youth. Mr. Halberstam said, "There's a
great quote by Julius "Dr. J." Erving, that went, 'Being a professional is doing the things you love to do, on the days you don't feel like doing them.'"

Halberstam wrote great books about a lot of things, the corruption that existed in South Vietnam predicting an inelegant end to that conflict to books on sports about great games and individuals. Make no mistake, he wasn't anti-war, the title of one of his books on Vietnam was called "The Best and the Brightest." He simply reported things as he saw them and had respect from every area he covered.

One famous exchange regarding Vietnam had him accuse a war department administrator of "lying". He didn't say "you aren't giving me the truth." This was a man who went directly to the heart of the matter. "You're lying." And he was right. The lie had to do with how successful Vietnam was going and the recognition that the completely corrupt South
Vietnamese government was no match for their North Vietnamese Communist counterparts. History shows, he was right, "the best and the brightest" were lying to us and themselves.

To work hard, earn broad respect for it, to cover topics from your favorite pastimes to hard world journalism, to knowing and defining the truth historically is how he spent his life. We all should be so lucky. At least we were lucky enough to have David Halberstam.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Concertina

Saw Modest Mouse at the Orpheum in Minneapolis tonight. There were two warm up bands. I've forgotten their names. The first band was a little more mellow, but really had good tone and great harmony with their vocals. I thought their stuff all sounded very much the same. I think they need more collaboration from band members when creating songs. Still, for the first band they did sound okay.

Second band had "Love..." in their name, but that was about it. A step up in loudness. They seemed to have some better variation in their music so it wasn't as boring. First song or two the bass was way too high and just drown out everything. They finally got the message and turned it down and brought the vocals up. Funniest part at the second song they brought on this guy and he was the spitting image of Kid Rock. He told my buddy that times were tough in Hockeytown and the Kid needed money. I didn't know he could play some electronic pad version of a set of bongos like Maynard G. Krebs, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, right Kid? Besides, what decade did that boy last make a recording anyway? Was it before or after Axel Rose? Doesn't matter, since you couldn't actually hear the bongo playing except for a lame brief solo or electrical outage or something. Kid Rock gets a D, and he only gets that since he did lay the pipe with Pam Anderson.

Modest mouse had an elaborate set up. I hadn't realized they used two drummers. And man were those guys tight. I listened for them to get out of sync, but it just didn't seem to happen. I was impressed. My pal and I were on the opposite side of where Johnny Mars was and it seemed like his guitar was way down in volume. I was hoping to hear more out of him. Again the bass really overwhelmed at times, and also had tone problems where it would buzz or yield feedback.

There was a dude in the middle with what looked like a tank commanders helmet liner. Complete with dangling chin strap. I like his look. He played a bunch of stuff. Keyboards, slide guitar, trumpet, stand up bass with and without a bow, and standard electric bass, seems like there might have been something else.

I must be getting old. I couldn't understand a single bit of the leaders banter between songs. It reminded me of the parents and teachers on the old "Peanuts" cartoons. Like a muted trumpet or coronet. A real drag. The lead vocalist was quite the spastic colon kind of guy. The only guy I've ever seen live that worked harder was Peter Garrett of Midnight Oil. That guy looked like he was doing aerobics the whole show. And guzzled gallons of water. And you could see he was just ripped, six pack abs and all.

As usual the antics of my fellow concertgoers was ah, well, sadly unforgettable. The best part was I ran into a guy from work. A good character and he ended up with seats two row in front of me, and closer to the center. Saw him in the hall before hand and said hello.

There were two sisters and a brother plus his girlfriend in front of my seat. The farthest seat to the right had the poorest sight line. The woman that ended up with the seat cursed like a longshoreman. Things like "next times you're going to fuck me in the ass at least use lubricant" and worse. And she was loud. It was between sets so she could be heard and there people all around that could hear and were either snickering, or cringing. So much for Minnesota nice. I have no idea what she had to drink, but man, never let her get that many again. And she just went on and on. It got to the point where I started talking to her sister, and the girlfriend of the brother. The brother was very quiet. The sister and girlfriend were very nice. Admitting, yes, she is loud like this all the time. Yes she is married and her daughter is just like her. Demanding, pissy, and willing to throw tantrums when she didn't get what she wanted. And she was not the most attractive gal. Her companions were much thinner and more attractive.

Then there was the seriously drunk guy behind me. I think between the second band and MM, he grabbed my hat off my head. He put this clean "Browning" hat on me. I told him no thanks, I'd rather not wear that, being a gun control kinda guy. I didn't tell him that last part and he was rather puzzled. He asked me who my favorite baseball team was and I said the Twins. Which is the truth and he gave the hat back saying he felt terribly sorry for me.

He then started talking about how hot his wife was, and that sometimes he drinks too much and isn't able to perform and maybe I could help him out? I told him no, that I'd prefer to stay alive. He didn't understand this or maybe I didn't say it loudly enough. He thought I was threatening him and inquired about it. I said no, you're the one with the guns, your the one that would kill me if I mess with your wife. He liked that. A lot. It was almost like an old beer commercial, "I love this guy." and "I love you man." I really worried I was in for a long night.

Apparently midway through MM he and someone else got into fisticuffs and were hauled off by security. They made it back for the last few songs and the encore. Between songs I heard them shouting obscenities back and forth. Then at the end of the show and the lights came up, they were apologizing with more "I love you man". Man I miss hanging with rednecks on a more regular basis. Especially the drunk ones.

Not.

The show was good. It was loud. I love a good loud show. My ears have stopped ringing now. Ticketmaster had hosed up and never mailed my tickets so I had to call them up and go through voice mail hell twice until I got to a person before the system hung up on me. They printed tickets and they were ready at will call. Worked out fine in the end. I just still hate TicketMasterWhore.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

You Never Know What You'll See

I roll by many a bus stop on my commute to work via bike. Occasionally they are occupied with people waiting for the bus. Mostly not. This morning one stop had at least three young women standing at it.

One of them had a dress and I think was looking up the road hoping to spot the bus and saw me turtle like. Quickly with her left hand she hiked her skirt up another 2-3 inches to show a little more leg and with her right hand stuck out her thumb with a big grin on her face. Considering my pathetic amount of speed at the moment it amused me a great deal and I laughed out loud. I'm always impressed when someone is so quick thinking in a harmless humorous way. Made my morning commute even better.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Red Letter Day!

Some days just go so swell, you wish you could have moved a few things over to another day that went far less well.

I got up on time (which isn't always true) with the plan to cycle. I rode the Hiawatha ride Saturday. Rode to work on the QuickBeam yesterday. I dawdled around packing and drinking coffee. I forgot to go shopping and get anything for breakfast. D'Oh. I did find a bagel that wasn't moldy and it tasted edible when toasted.

While drinking my three gigantic mugs of coffee (emptying a 10 cup pot - cause I'm too cheap to throw any away), I decided to go see any updates from an old friend, Foamy. Made for a hilarious morning. Check out the rant of the day on Imus. Geerrreaaat! As Tony the Tiger might say.

The sun had come up by the time I got out the door and I took the Atlantis. I didn't feel like a messenger bag and the QuickBeam has no racks. Plus I'm feeling a little tired as I am (you heard it here first) in terrible shape. I've been such a turd for the winter. Yuck. Gears can be your friend even when it makes me feel so dang wussy.

Yeah, my butt is a little sore but it was a really nice ride in, dressed right on target. Thin woolie shirt on top with a cheap bright green (florescent - ugly - but visible) jersey on top of that. Shorts and wool leg warmers and wool socks on bottom. Cycle gloves and wool gloves for hand warmth. It felt great.

Got to work and immediately figured out, I'd forgot my locks. I subscribe to the Sheldon Brown theory of locks. Every lock can be defeated if they want it bad enough. You just want to make your bike harder to steal than the next bike. Much like, you don't really have to out run the bear to live, you just need to outrun your friend. Morbid huh? So I use two locks and forgot both. They are in the bag on the QuickBeam. Dang.

I thought, well, I sit very near the entrance and sometimes the guard at that entrance is a real softie. Ouch! The uberfuhrer of all guards was there! So I went in with my badge (I work in a secure building, okay not really that secure, but I digress) and my bag with my lunch and wallet in it. I state, "I stupidly forgot my lock at home. My desk is at XX right near this entrance, I have an open space where I can store my bicycle. May I please bring it in this once? I won't make it a habit." He gets this squinty eyed look, "Why you little dumb ass gun control lovin', liberal minded, green thinkin', global warmin' believin', mo-ron engineer." "Knock yourself out.", he says.

I am stunned. I'd have never guessed. I'd have predicted complete and utter failure. Lucky me. So I roll it in, let them check the bags (small black Carradice front panniers) and get to the shower.

The shower has been cleaned! There has been new shower heads installed! There are lights again, so I don't have to shave my noggin in the dark. I'm ecstatic. What the bleep set this off? I wonder if some new exec in the building took up running? The craziness. I've been trying to get it this clean and maintained for years. Ever since the last decent custodian (Woody, a name said with reverence by those that use the locker room) worked the area. Will wonders never cease.

The question remains. Does this mean I will get hit on the way home???

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Heard On The Hiawatha Cyclery Ride

"No matter what direction your marriage is going, a tandem bicycle gets you there faster."

Sorry, I was in oxygen debt (I know) and I've already forgotten who I should attribute the quote to. Add that to the fact that I can testify in my own case, this was sadly true. As in, I'm not married to that person any more.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

And so it goes

Kurt Vonnegut was one of my favorite writers. I don't remember where I stumbled upon him, or if it was a recommendation, or did I watch a nutty movie based on his book or come across the fact that he was best friends with fellow cynical writer Joseph Heller (whom I also love), but I'm glad I did. I've read all fourteen of his books. I think I loved something about them all. From Kilgore Trout to Ice 9. I enjoyed them, even when I wasn't sure I understood them.

I saw one of his last national public appearances on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart promoting his last semi autobiographical book. He was as angry, witty, and charming as a guy could be. I wish I'd met him in real life. He inspired me from afar. I'm not sure I could stand it if I'd actually met him.

The defining moment for him was during World War II. He'd gotten captured near the end, and had been made to produce vitamin supplements in a former basement slaughterhouse in Dresden an architecturally beautiful and famous city. The task saved his life. Dresden was carpet bombed by the RAF and US Army Air Corp. Environmental conditions led to a phenomenon called a fire storm. Heat and conditions wiped the area free of life like an atomic bomb. In his book Slaughterhouse Five he likened it to walking on the moon afterward. The book's name came from the five US army survivors that lived because they were in a slaughterhouse underground.

The men were made to scour the town for bodies afterward. There were very few survivors.

He wrote how they used a horse and loaded the charred bodies into a cart. Then they piled them high so they could complete the cremation process and prevent the spread of disease with precious kerosene. When the building was too rickety to enter to retrieve the dead, the poured in kerosene or used flame throwers to complete the process.

In a few miles of travel the horse stopped. Nothing could urge it to move. Not food, water, whips or cajoling. The horse had discovered something they had not. Much of the construction materials had broken away to be melted into sharp hard glass like bits of horror that didn't quite get through their tough army boot soles. They were big enough to reach the hoof of the horse where his shoe didn't provide protection.

This horror of Dresden and of war was beyond belief. It was something that haunted Vonnegut for life. At one point he considered suicide due to depression. The fact that his mother took her own life may have played in to it as the children of suicide tend to follow suit. He managed to survive somehow. And he wrote. Plays, essays, readings, novels, autobiographical sketches, and college graduation addresses. His anguish, his worries, his anger, and his passion came out in his writing. He believed that everyone had a teacher, that lead you to be passionate about something. Thank them while they are still alive. Write them a note, call them, but find a way to thank them for being your inspiration.

Vonnegut was accused of repeating himself. His alter ego Kilgore Trout appeared in many books. Phrases and absurd techniques of presenting his writing appeared in many of his books. He had an affinity with decorating his pages with crude drawings of his own makings. Some critics called him little more than a comic book author. Yet millions of us loved him for what he wrote. There is one phrase he used frequently and two paragraph I've remembered since I read it.

"Robert Kennedy, whose summer home is eight miles from the home I live in all year round,” Mr. Vonnegut wrote at the end of book, “was shot two nights ago. He died last night. So it goes." He went on to say.

“Martin Luther King was shot a month ago. He died, too. So it goes. And every day my Government gives me a count of corpses created by military science in Vietnam. So it goes.”

Kurt Vonnegut fell and suffered a significant head trauma six weeks ago according to his wife of 28 years. The progression of his brain injury lead to his death Tuesday night in hospital in Manhattan at the age of 84. So it goes. And every day the twenty four hour news networks tell me how many Iraqis and American men and women died today in Iraq and Afghanistan. So it goes.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Watch Out

Holy smokes I've been reading web based things late in the evening again and my head is aching with anarchy.
Where to start? How about the Shrub?
Today, one of the Shrub's press swine stated that on January 10, the Shrub gave the public what we clamored for in the 2006 elections, change in the Iraq war. January 10, January 10, you mean the surge? The increase in troop levels? The more of the same old shit? This is what we voted (yes I voted, thank you) last November? Good grief that man is more demented than previously thought. If there is a guy that truly can pervert anything into supporting his wacky ideals, this is the man. Gosh, listening to NPR report on presidential candidates for the next 18 months is sounding so much better than it did an hour ago.

Don Imus. Don't like him. Didn't like his show. Thought Howard Stern was more original and funny. Depressed when he left the Minnesota market and got quoted in the St. Paul PP as calling Minnesotans idiots or dolts or something for continuing to listen to that white bread bully Tom Bernard at KQ. Jeebus, how many partners has he had in the last 25 years?

Imus' quote about Gwen Ifill was bad enough and the statement about the Rutgers basketball squad was racist. In his position suspension isn't good enough. It was obscene, so why does the FCC fine Stern and let Imus fly? I don't know, but I believe that Stern has a bigger audience. Nobody made a movie about Imus' career have they? Would it be as popular as Private Parts? I bet not.

I bought the premise of that movie. That Stern was a jerk on the radio, but loved his wife and kids. Sort of like De Niro in the King of Comedy which was go to an extreme he believed in, instead of just being a schmuck for life. Much to everyone's surprise, he's successful just being himself. He actually made fun of himself ("I'm hung like a second grader"), he was loyal to his friends (Robin, Fred, Bababooey), that he was an entertainer like any other, but his "real" life wasn't necessarily like that.

Then he showed his real colors and divorced his wife. Maybe she got tired of him. I don't know who started it, I know it didn't seem public and I want to believe he treated her fairly. That he takes care of his kids. I just no longer believe its all an act. Heroes fall from their pedestals at some point.

But I digress. Not really. My point is that if Stern was more of a jerk in real life, then Imus was a racist in reality. Stern tended to make fun of adults, and I don't consider the freshman dominated basketball team Imus called "hos" to yet be adults. They were living the American dream, they reached the pinnacle of their sport; against the reigning perennial no less, that juggernaut the Tennessee Vols. They lost yes, which had to be a crushing defeat, but did they express any of the traits we hate in our Cinderellas, or athletes we root for?

Okay, some of them sported tattoos. So does the grandmother three houses over. BFD. Has any of them been arrested for public intoxication, speeding, urination, chemically impaired driving, or firearms or drugs in their possession? No. Fact is as a whole, womens college athletics are exemplary for their off the field performance and behavior. To me that is the worst crime here. He picked on someone that wasn't expected to be in that game, in a sport that behaves better than any of the male professional sport members. One example: in the past week two NFL players were suspended for behavior and Warren Moon former ViQueen QB and hall of fame (shame?) member was arrested for speeding and impaired driving of such a nature that his vehicle was impounded. Those are just two reports that I can remember this week in one sport! May Imus go rot in anonymity at his ranch the wrinkled slug.

I've been playing all week with something called the Google home page. You can have six tabs and add one of a gazillion "gadgets" to any of those six pages. You can even make a new tab, choose a name of say "bicycling", and it will populate it with up to a dozen individual news sources ready for you to customize. You can have little "to do" lists you can read from work or home. And just all kids of greasy nerd stuff. I don't know how long its existed, but it is so cool I just about peed my pants. No wonder Google will rule the world. FU Microsoft.

I've managed to get my TV working well enough to watch the "Simpsons" on Sunday. Thank you lord for giving me some brains. So it was a repeat with Lisa inventing a Indian tribe the "Hitachi" she created from the name brand on their toaster. I couldn't make shit like that up in a million years. And the beauty, is she ends up confession her sins in front of an enormous meeting of the descendants of the real American Indians. Some good old plot lines still work so well. Kid tells lie, ends up telling bigger lies to cover original lie with, gets traumatized by guilt, ends up telling truth in embarrassing position, gets mildly rewarded for finally having the courage to admit their error and the truth. Don't you wish the Shrub had watched that episode? Dang, I am. Think he's understand it? Or laugh? Understand the "Hi-tachi" bit? No, I don't either.

You know, as a displaced Yooper, I love snow. Hell, I was born in November and it always snowed for my birthday. By that time each year I'd had my first cold as a kid, which meant my first shot of penicillin from Dr. Hauge. The good old days. Like a Rockwell painting. "Climb up on that stool and have a look at my diploma, good, drop yer trousers", alcohol swab and stab with the needle. None of that "this won't hurt a bit" or "you'll feel a little pressure" or "try to relax". You knew it was coming, he didn't sugar coat it, and he got it over quick and gave you a cheap sucker for it.

I've always loved to rib the wussies natives about snow and cold. I take perverse pleasure when they whine and moan about cruddy weather. I lived in Texsucks and I knew what it was like to not have seasons. To have boring weather with a capital bloody B followed by H for hot. I knew what 400 inches of snow in a season felt like.

This year, I'm tired of the snow. I did grin like a lunatic (sorry Ray) on my way to and from the bus stop this morning in the snow. Yet the truth is, I'd prefer it quit and warm up a little for some better cycling weather. Bloody hell, is resistance futile? Am I becoming a feared and dreaded Minnesotan? Grody Grief Charlie "St. Paul" Brown! I gotta go visit the UP soon and get this shit out of my system. Maybe I will go see P.J. Olsson in Houghton after all this weekend for that gig in his hometown?

In case you haven't heard, Walter Reed hospital was reported internally to be a hell hole by injured soldiers in 2004. It wasn't a secret what a dump it was for the less than privileged. So I personally accuse the Shrub of lack of support for his beloved troops. Take that you dink. I think the GOP congress was more worried about that Terry Schivo junk right about then. You know, paying attention to the crucial national problems and challenges.

A journalist by the name of Gary Kamiya accuses the national media to have been asleep on the job in the post 9/11 era. Specifically there wasn't a single major outlet questioning the Shrub and his minions like Faux news and their march to remove Iraq's leader. Funny how the national media don't see him as a "real" journalist because he writes a blog, and they completely disagree with his premise. That they were not asleep but being prudent and checking their facts and such highly journalistic ideals he just doesn't observe nor understand. One this is almost always true, when those at the top of the heap are accused by those perceived as of a "lower" caste or status they go on the defense, get angry, and get personal. They don't do their own job on themselves and check the facts. The national media helped lead us into the war into Iraq. There were no WMDs there. No anthrax, no moving labs, no moving missile trailers, and no stockpiles. There was lone voices in the wind saying how there was no "yellow cake" from Africa tale. They patriotically supported the smoke, mirrors, and lies and exacerbated the effect with their reporting.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

The Next Big Thing


Thanks to the Onion. They have their eye on the next big thing. Check it out to the right. Or buy your own here.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Poor Planning Part Deux

Came home early from work to work from home where I don't get people visiting and I can ignore email if I like.

First I tried the TV. Tried plugging the antenna into the VCR and then the VCR into the TV. Slight improvement. I could hear audio on several stations. I could actually see someone named "Rachel Ray" on channel 11 or NBC.

Say it with me now, N-n-n-n-n-n-n-Beeeee-Sea. Always reminds me of Pig Vomit in Private Parts. Gosh I love that actor, Paul Giamatti, son of the late Bart Giamatti, who banned that moron Pete Rose from baseball and thereby the hall of fame. If they won't let in Shoeless Joe, then Rose can rot until he's worm food.

I screamed and turned the show off.

You could ask, maybe I should have planned this? Tried the antenna before I got satellite cut off? No, then I'd never have gotten it cut off. Hell, I procrastinated as it is. This way, I've got to try to make it work instead of vice versa.

I'm telling you, its hell. I might actually go sleep early. Sheesh. I might have to gulp read! (Oh, come on, I read every night before I turn the light off and try to sleep. Last few nights its been the latest Bicycle Quarterly, the issue with my pal Bob Brown's article about building an all stainless steel bike frame.

Not What I Planned

Since I moved into my house three years ago I've had Direct TV. Yes, satellite television instead of cable. My justification then (read carefully) was it was an enticement for my then 12 year old son to be comfortable to visit. He'd have something to do so he'd not get bored. At the time I only had a 13 inch TV. The other excuse was the previous owners left behind the entire set up. Dish, boxes, wiring, the whole smear, for nothing. Later found out they were running away from bills like crazy.

After a year I bought a 30 inch something flat screen (but real cathode ray tube design) 16:8 or whatever design TV, so letter box movies look great. Still kept the satellite. If I'd kept track of my viewing hours I think I know the change in trend. If I'd have logged in my TV hours versus my music listening, I'm sure I did more TV viewing then before. Bigger screens rock, lets face it.

I've kept the satellite service so that I could watch the Tour de France each year. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I really get into it. I started to think that was pretty silly, so I made the decision in March to get rid of it after the NCAA basketball championship.

I called Direct TV Tuesday since the finals were Monday night and talked to them. They offered a "vacation" for three months. They don't bill me until July, they switch the service off, and we see how it goes. Cool. In July, if I don't call them, the service is gone.

First couple of nights service continued. Then I realized I'd disconnected the satellite control boxes from the telephone jack. Last night before I went to sleep I realized this and plugged the boxes (I had two) in to the phone. This morning service was gone.

I will really miss not only tour coverage, but The Daily Show and Pardon The Interruption. Maybe I'll get more riding in and such. I hope so. Listen to my collection of music more too. Again, hope so.

It does look like I'll watch little TV. I plugged in the $30 antenna I bought from Target this morning before work. Nothing. No channels 2, 4, 5, 9, 11, 17, 23, 29, or 45. Colored fuzz. I heard the word "Clifford" which I believe was the cartoon about the big red dog on Channel 2, but that was all the audio I got. I extended the antenna as far as I could, rotated the thing and anything else I could think of. It is even amplified with a cord you plug in. Supposedly 10 dB of attenuation.

This is not what I planned and I'm thinking going without The Simpsons might be a little tough. Maybe I'll trade in for an even better antenna. Stick something into my attic? I really don't want to spend the money on that either. Stay tuned for the insanity that settles in.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Sanjaya

Ever watch American Idle? I've never seen it. Its one of many "reality" shows I've never taken in.

There is a few folks where I work that really get into it and a few other shows. Pick their favorites and keep track of who is doing the best and junk. I see it amusing them with no harm. One fellow really dislikes some guy named Sanjaya. All I know is that he appears to be reasonably handsome and has a lot of hair. At any rate they were harassing him by putting up huge blown up print-outs of his publicity photos. Again, good fun and I'm all in favor of that at the work place.

I also read somewhere how Howard Stern has been trying to get his listeners to vote for this guy. Not that he cares, but he's trying to influence the results just to screw things up. Now, that I'm in favor of in a big way.

Now, I'm so clueless about the show, I'm not even sure how to vote for the spudnick, but dang, I sure would like it, if you do know how, would you please vote for Sanjaya? Maybe if the show gets all hosed up this guy Simon's head will explode with disgust like a squeezed pimple. Now if I knew that was coming, I might watch the show.

Not. (See last post)

Borat

Have you seen the movie Borat? I rented and watched it with a friend. They hated it. Hated it. Didn't even want to discuss it later.

I didn't hate it. I spent the majority of the time cringing. Laughing out loud? Not so much.

I think a movie is supposed to get an emotion out of you. I figure it did that. I do wonder why so many people loved this movie. If you look at it analytically, there was only one joke and it really got old by the end.

Tell me what you thought? What do you think movies are supposed to do: always make you laugh or happy? Don't see Shindlers List or The Battleship Potemkin. Or maybe you consider those the feared and dreaded chick flicks?

Have You Ever?

Have you ever, while sitting on the throne (toilet, alright), had an explosive fart so expressive in intensity that it pulled a muscle in your back?

Its been done.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Tickets

Okay, usually when I'm talking tickets, I mean speeding tickets. Between the time I was 16 and 40, I got at least one speeding ticket every three years. Heck at one point I did 8 hours of "Defensive Driving" hell in an non-air conditioned basement with the most ornery set of senior citizens this side of Abe's home on the Simpsons just so I could keep my bloody license in TexSucks. So my insurance rates never went down. I think I've gone about five years without. Look, I deserved every blasted one of them. I never try to talk my way out of them. I was speeding, you caught me, if I didn't want to risk a ticket, I'd slow down. I've only walked away without the ticket when stopped once or twice. Only remember one, where all three kids were sleeping in the backseat and we (the family) were late for a nieces confirmation.

I ordered tickets this morning. Yup, going to see Modest Mouse with a friend I tend to see a lot of shows with. I'm not like crazy for MM, but its been a long time since something came through I wanted to see. In theory, I got a "special" message from someone I've volunteered with, and got to order tickets a day early. Sure. I later saw two other messages from other services that gave "specials" too. All with their own code word.

Here's the pisser. Ticket Whore. Or TicketWhoreMaster. Each ticket was $30. Actually two were $61. Once they got done with license fees, dealer preparation charges, delivery fees, tire shine, carpet vacuum, upholstery protector coating, and headlight fluid refills, it was over $90. And I picked the cheapest and slowest delivery possible. So it cost the price of another ticket in fees. And you know the artist gets nothing out of those fees. Just pisses me off.

Its well known that artists don't really make a bundle out of their recordings. Record companies give them a advance, from which they then charge them the cost of making the recording. Unless it sells a bajillion, they might get to keep some of the advance and not owe the "company" too much. Whoops. Now it used to be they went out on tour, and if they didn't snort coke like some put baby powder on infant butts, and party too hardy they could make some decent money. The life on the road is grueling so it had better be good. Now with the monopoly that is TicketTheifMaster who knows. And ticket prices keep going up. Wasn't the last Stones show locally over a hundred a pop before TicketRatMaster got their thieving fingers on you? Too much man. You can get a good six recordings for that. And you don't have to sit in nosebleed and require a small Hubble telescope to see the band up close and personal. Just stinks.

Twenty Bloody Years


I've worked for the same corporate conglomerate for twenty years. Yeah, I find it hard to believe too. Feels like yesterday I was moving from Texsucks to Minnesota without a job. Within six weeks of that move, I was working at the company I work for now. I've had many different positions within the company, but still. Twenty years. My eldest child reaches his twenty first year in a week. Wow, does it feel odd. Part of the deal with the anniversary is you get a gift. You get a choice, and I picked this Dremel tool thing in the photos. I've used one a lot to work on bikes and such. About a week after I selected it, it arrived. Amazing. I had one before, but I'd lent it to the eldest child so he could port some aluminum heads. Good luck with that pal. Now I got my own and I won't need it back.
Part of why this is so amazing, is the number of layoffs that have transpired in those 20 years. I've lost count (4+) of the number of bosses I've had retire on me (usually because they were offered a "package" to leave early. Who knows if I'll survive any more?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

A Cyclist Weekend

It all started yesterday. The usual suspects were planning the monthly meet at Al's Breakfast in Dinkytown. Yes, 6 AM sharp for coffee and usually a short stack whole wheat wally blues. For those unfamiliar with Al's that stands for two whole wheat walnut and blueberry pancakes. Good for what ails you. Those that show can vary from Tim and Tom the racer boys. Then there is Jon, a man who's forgotten more about bicycles than I know. This follows with a man who needs no introductions, its BBBB. Or maybe you'd prefer just plain Bob. Then there is another guy who often shows up we'll call Curt. This week, I had a surprise guest, none other than our own, Misanthrope Cyclist. Now he's not a morning guy, so I had to lie like a dog to get him to show up at 6:00. He made it, sort of, a few minutes after we did, but he had time to eat before we felt guilty and began to make motions to leave. This time Curt didn't make it, most likely due to a heavy work schedule. Missed yah dude! Coffee, tea, juice, eggs, and cakes were as good as always.

Today, I added to the punishment. I joined the Hiawatha gang for their weekly ride. I'd forgotten the time and thought it was at 7:30 sharp. Huh, no one was there, so I amused myself by shooting photos of the shop through the window. To the right is a photo of the store front from across the street. It looks better without the snow so you can see the stands to lock up your ride while shopping. The top of one stand can be seen in the photo, its the bit of red sticking up from the snow.


After a few photos, someone started showing up. First arrived "Big" Jim, who politely informed me that my memory was faulty and that usually people start showing at 7:45 and they might get riding by 8, but don't count on it. Cool, just my kind of ride and I was early for once. Just ask my ex-wife for information on how often that happens. Or not. Here are a few photos from the gang of eight (or nine) that showed.
I didn't get names on all of them.















Since I don't wear a watch and never look at my cyclometer, I've no clue when we started. Then add to the fact that I don't live or really know the area, I was quickly lost. We meandered all over the place. Only two casualties. A young college gal, Laura hit a large patch of ice and her bike slid out from under her. She seemed to be just fine and the bike wasn't damaged visibly. Next was the owner of Hiawatha, Jim, and he and his ride a three speed went down. Other than his chain guard insisting on making tons of noise for the next 30 miles he seemed to survive the crash okay too. At one point they bunch could hear my growling stomach, and in an effort to drop me and still have some pity on me, they laid down some food for me to snack on. Then to add to the humiliation, they took some photos to document their prowess.



Their fatal error? They discovered that watching me eat made them hungry too and so they looked for a coffee shop and low and behold there across the street was Espresso Expose. So they parked their bicycles everywhere. By the time they were done, so was I, so I rode back with them. Sorry for the poor quality of the photos from inside Espresso Expose, I'm just not that interested in learning how to use my camera better. Yet.

Monday, March 05, 2007

What Exactly Is The Dilly-eo?

You should have heard that Walter Reed hospital is a dump. Okay, you can be in the ward where the generals, congress members, President and other "haves" will go and never see any problems. Only where our real heroes land when injured and go to recover. Lets see, I've read of roaches, patients lying in their own filth, and abysmal conditions. I wonder if Bob Dole would have recovered enough to become a long term congressman under those conditions?

So, where is the outrage? Doesn't exist. You know if it was Clinton or Obama's administration the talking point from Sean Hannity, Rush, O'Reilly and the rest of the GOP right would be that leadership at the top led to this. Of course they can't savage the Shrubbery, because that defeats their purpose. And they can't point out it is due to a budget horror, because they've held congress for twelve years. So we're once again treating soldiers as bad as we did at Vietnam. The public may not be spitting on them, but ignoring them isn't so hot either. Oh, but we've got millions of magnets on the assholes of SUVs and our fuel cost is still below $14 a gallon. And the Democrats haven't made any hay out of it, because who's against it? Its not like abortion where you know someone is against whatever side you pick. Everyone is for treatment of the veterans with honor, courtesy, and the best care available. Trouble is it cost money and we've already spent that sending them overseas to get hurt in the first place. And I'll remind you, Rumsfield sent them with inadequate equipment again because they foolishly didn't believe it would last long enough to require it. Morons, pathetic morons, in charge of our country. You go with the equipment you have not the equipment you wish you had. I hope he hears that lie every day for the rest of eternity in hell.

I mentioned March Madness already. That is I look forward to college basketball and the Final Four. High school? Pahlease. In Minnesota, few teams can score enough to entertain me. They're all football and hockey rejects. Except for those Chisholm teams of old. That Coach Bob McDonald could run one hell of a team. I miss his squads.

So, did you see the Duke Blue Devils exposed? Yeah, it wasn't an intentional foul, right. He intended to foul the scourer, and he intended a hard foul so he couldn't score. With an elbow. He could have grabbed him around the waist. No, he went for the nose with his elbow and he succeeded, he broke it and got himself ejected. Now that supreme whiner Coach K (and I don't care how he spells it, I refuse to type it, he lost my respect a long time ago, squeaky clean he isn't), shrilly yells, how it wasn't intentional, and his player didn't deserve ejection. Oh, I'm sorry, did the NC player get a little blood on the floor and offend thee? There is no coach in Division IA that whines more and convinces not only refs that his team is squeaky clean, but Billy Packer has been his shill for decades. I so wish CBS would get the guts to banish him to where that schmuck Michael Irvin lands. Maybe Michael could teach Billy how not to dress like a dick with ears? I so love any team that hands Coach K and his team of All-Americans their heads and they cry and whine and get angry better than anyone on the planet. We now have proof how little sportsmanship they really have. You can bet Coach K would NEVER have suspended that player for that foul. And his players still suck in the NBA.

So, did you see that our own dink Kevin McHale is the best GM in the land. Yeah, the proverbial "basketball guy" from Hibbing who is running our local losers the WoodMutts is the best GM in pro sports. Good grief, talk about a slow news day at Forbes. Who wrote the article, and the editor that approved it should both be fired for being complete and total idiots. Please God, let Kevin Garnett be traded to a team that deserves him. And heaven forbid there is Fred Hoyburg in the wings when Kevin gets fired ten years too late no later than the NBA finals this year. Do you know why they don't put an NBA team in Green Bay? Because then Minnesota would want one too.

Back to politics. Is there any location within the current Shrubbery administration going well except the gaseous space between the Shrub's ears and the Penguin's? They can't run hospitals for the troops they so love (and don't support), and they can't permit an attorney that won't file and run any case they dictate regardless of litigious merit? We are going to suffer with his horrid supreme court choices for decades. They couldn't handle the hurricane, the people still suffer. Newt Gingrich recently opined that those folks (you don't think he meant trailer trash do you? No, he meant black people.) were too stupid to get out of the way of the hurricane. Nice. Contract with American, my armpit. Come on press, run with that story and end that fat toad's career. And this Newt boy wants to be President!

Speaking of fat toads, have you seen the photos locally on the signs for a local conservative FM radio station? Seriously photo shopped photos of Sean Hannity and Rush "drug abusing" Limbaugh." Those two haven't weighed that little since grade school. Hannity's head alone is the size of a basketball. These louts are on TV every day and they still pretend like their handsome. Yeah, remove Rush's cancer sores from drug abuse, and the bacon oozing pimples from Sean, but this is an amazing level of lies.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Its March

March, for me it always brings up memories of March madness. In my home area it was like the movie Hoosiers. No, I didn't grow up in Indiana, but in a town where girls and boys basketball was the sport. The women's tournament at that time was in the fall, so it never competed with the men. It didn't become a big deal until I was not seeing eye to eye with my father. And for the record, the women's team of my peers were awesome, and went far into the tournament every year I was high school. They far surpassed the men's teams records.

When March came my father would drive me to the tournament games. Rarely trips of less then 100 miles. Often at night and on weekends, and without a complaint. I didn't whine and bitch to get this opportunity. I was never sure it would happen again. He gave it willingly. It was passing along his enjoyment of the game. Of sport. Of excitement. Too bad it only takes me thirty years to think of that blessing he gave.

Those trips were always in snow. I don't remember a single time when the trip didn't happen if there was a snow storm. Fearless. It was just snow. Never once crashed. Never once hit the bank or got stuck. Never once failed to make the first tip. Never once left early. At that time rarely saw my home town team in the tournament. Sadly we had a very shitty coach who I tried to play under. He managed to win a state championship once and so no one would fire him, but he had nothing to do with the win. He as much admitted it, he'd ask us after a loss, what was wrong with us. Pretty hard when you have no leader. I have little doubt he was as worthless then as he was when I was in high school and we had records of 2-17.

There was a great coach coming. He went on to win two championships in 25 years. The typical finals were against teams with every single player 3-6 inches taller. From all private schools that recruited from the finest of metropolitan players. And he beat them like they'd never seen it coming. How? Out hustle. We never stopped running in his practices. How would I know? I had the drunken flake in high school? Because he was the junior high/middle school coach when I was that age. And we ran until our lunch was in our throats. And then we ran some more. And then we shot baskets when we were good and tired. Fundamentals. And the worst error you could make is to miss an open shot or layup. Especially when the game was on the line. Or a free throw. Shaq wouldn't have played two games in a row for him. He didn't care how good you were in general if you weren't fundamentally sound, you rode the pine. No whining allowed. No loud daddies permissible. He was coach and you were just one of many players. Don't like it? Leave.

I got tossed from the high school team for refusal to cut my hair. Stupid yes. My point was, I could lose with long hair as well as I could with short. It wasn't fun. He sucked. I couldn't be a man and quit. So I created the situation where I couldn't stay. Trust me, if the coaches had switched when I played instead of after, I'd have cut my hair. He "resigned" my senior year because he was such an abysmal failure. To play for a winner, I'd have worn a crew cut like it was the sixties. I'd have shaved my head 30 years early. Between playing for a loser drunk, I'd rather have a pony tail.

Speaking of cutting the beard is gone. November to March was long enough. Just to prove it existed, here it is.

Yes, its gone. A neatly trimmed goat remains in its place. Ready to extend next fall. Maybe. Maybe I'll have forgotten my dislike for it by then?

Saturday, March 03, 2007

I'm the ONE

Hey, it's time I announced that in fact I am the father of the late Anna Nicole's baby, what'shername. But I don't want to raise the baby unless I get the money. I mean seriously folks its all about the security of the money, er baby, ah child.


Yeah, this area had ah, about 20 inches of snow in less than seven days. The area population is freaking apoplectic. Traffic is snarled, heart attacks occur over snow shovels, its just this horrible pandemonium. Its nothing. That it. NOTHING. Its not a tornado, a hurricane, its a rainstorm in the cold for crying out loud. Yeah, so it might break a local record, but so what. Its so weak it is hilarious to anyone that's seen far worse. Here take a gander what mere students do with snow in other places in the world.
Yeah its a statue from something called Winter Carnival. Its at my Alma mater Michigan Tech University. During winter carnival there are lots of activities that go on during classes. Some of those statues have 30 days to be created from scratch. Others have only 24 hours, called "allnighter" statues appropriately enough. There is lots more, skiing, snow shoeing, ice bowling (it simply must be seen to be believed), broom ball and more. Damn it looks like so much more fun that going to work amongst all these whining, crying, moaning, and leaving early from work because of the snow Minnesotans. Gigantic wussies is what they are. I wish it would snow like that here for four-six-sixteen weeks and see what they think. Take that global warming.
Speaking of wussies, how about John Daly getting a shoulder injury because some dope snapped the camera shutter during his swing. Boxers, to baseball, to the real football (soccer) all deal with crowd noise. But not those big sissies the golfers. In baseball they throw the ball at you from 70-100 MPH and you have to try to hit it and in golf the ball is as motionless as can be, and heck when poor fat Johnny hurt a rib, he'd placed the ball on a tee his very self. Yet one more proof that athletes can play golf, but being a golfer of any level has nothing to do with being an athlete. Shit they may as well be in the professional puzzle assembly league.
Yet, it is finally winter here because as one local scribe asserted; 'It ain't winter until you fall on your kester." I fell on my butt getting out of my vehicle Friday and slipped on the ice under the snow. Did I cry? No. Did I laugh at myself? Most certainly, and proudly wore two thirds of my morning cup of coffee on my clothing because of that slip. It still makes me smile. Even if a few of my muscles are sore. I wish I'd asked for a copy of the film from the security cameras at work. Maybe someday I'll get around to cleaning the coffee from the inside of the door of the elephant.
Speaking of odd, the other day an odd coincidence occurred. Someone left his comment in this here blog somewheres. Now, I wasn't sure if his comment was a real rant against me (like where the hell have I been?), so I sent a more or less polite note about yeah, I was gone, wasn't I? And guilty of purchase of an SUV. So he replies back saying he was rattling my cage and was more or less glad I'd arrived back from under my rock.
So I sent one more note, seeing his name, quizzing his name and wondering if he happened to be the guy who rode this two tone baby shit colored custom fixed gear from a local custom builder that was constantly parked next to this dump of an employer. Then I gave him the internal building address to my office in same said dump.
Of course out of complete curiosity, blog commenter had to come and see what kind of kook had the audacity. And was shocked to find out we work in the same building in rather different circumstances. We had a fun chat and resolved to go out to lunch soon.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Pinarello - For Sale

So, I've got this friend, Scott. He's got this sweet bike he doesn't ride.


Did I say sweet, that is an understatement. Its an awesome 59 (23.5 inch seat tube, 22.5 top tube, 5.5 inch stem, 16.5 inch chainstays, measured center to center) red road bicycle. Its an all steel Pinarello, lugged, with a full Campy Record kit. This is a bike with white handle bar tape, brake hoods, and saddle, and they are still white! I am serious. Price? This is for serious collectors, so its not cheap. No damage, no knicks, no scratches, clean and ready to ride. So the asking price is $1,400. Want to see it? Send me an email, or check on the few photos I posted here.

Yes, I'm a Hypocrite




So most folks know I own a car, er vehicle, ah, cage. I don't use it much. Last fall through a series of situations, I ended up selling my perfectly fine Accord. I miss it. It got great mileage, it was paid for, and it suited me, mostly. It was hard to get bicycles inside when I wanted to drive somewhere for a ride. So, I learned a friend was selling a vehicle that I lusted after (always a bad thing). He had taken wonderful care of it, it was near new, and looked spectacular. He is very trustworthy and soon a deal was struck.

The drag? Its what most would call an SUV. Yes, I've become one of the people I hated. It even has all wheel drive, something I don't consider needed in this land of very little snow. Fifty inches a year is nothing people, nothing! Yeah, once a year we get fifteen or something, but still. In the first photo above you can see the previous owner and my 2004 Honda Element. Fondly referred to as the Elephant (he started it). The mileage is quite a bit less than the Accord and it seems like a gigantic behemoth, but it actually leaves more room inside the garage then the Accord did. I've go to admit, I love its abilities. You can slip the back seats up against the window on the side and roll a bike in standing up, fully assembled. Awesome, simply awesome. It, is exactly what I wanted. Just like a van without that suburban image. Still I feel like a stupid hypocrite. I try not to drive it much, I still ride the bike or take the bus. So far, in six months I've put less than 4,000 miles on it. I'm proud of that. Go ahead, rip me. I'm guilty as hell and admit it. The next photo is of me and the former owner shaking hands on the transaction.